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Friday, December 8, 2023

No Means No! STOP Means STOP!

 We went to Cullman today and took a Christmas gift to our friends in their nineties. Since theyhad a yard with many trees, they could hang the two bluebirds and the cardinal in the trees. At the duplex where they are moving this week, there is not one tree. I was afraid of that. So, I bought four chains with hooks on the end for hanging whatever. 

They were not home, so we left. Before we came home, I decided we could leave it in the mailbox which is on the porch. Since their daughter owns the house, we thought maybe no one would come on the porch. 

Well, the second time, they were there and came out to the car. I also gave them their Christmas card that was ready, in the envelope, and stamped. I did remove the stamp before I handed her the card. Sixty-something cents is a lot to pay for nothing. 

Tommy tooted the horn and the husband came out when he saw us. 

The last time we were in their house, he started poking my arm just below the shoulder where there are bone spurs. I said OW and pulled away as he came back at me, declaring that could not hurt. After a half-dozen times, I raised my voice. He would not let up until his wife told him to stop. Boundaries were crossed and he would not give up!

Part of his problem is he is a minister who thinks it is okay if he does anything. He may have been embarrassed as well he should be. I have to tell you, I cannot stand most ministers. They act so entitled and push back against any autonomy you may wish to hold for yourself.

Then, another time, they came to the car and he was poking me again, and sort of squeezing the shoulder joint. I was upset and continually pulled away. He finally went to Tommy's side of the car. 

Today, he gave up and said he would just bonk my nose. I yelled at him as he was reaching into the car and trying to get to my nose. He said, "Oh, you don't like that?" 

"HELL NO!" That response from me did not faze him at all. He tried twice more with me blocking him.

About that time, today, his wife came out, and finally told him to stop. Tommy raised his voice after the third time trying to reach my nose. This is not senility. He is sharp.  Neither time did he stop. 

I was so upset. This went on for more than five minutes, about 4 minutes and forty-five seconds more that teasing should. 

The next time, I will direct him to Tommy's side of the car. It seems he is obsessed with touching me to annoy me and to get his way. 

Men who assume any kind of touching with me objecting is okay, really don't know me or respect me.

Enough of that.

We went to a grocery store that carries Dromedary pimientos. I bought four for $1.19 each. At the Pig, I paid the price + 10%, making the total $1.44 each.

At Publix, I bought goat cheese with blueberries and the last bag of Ocean Spray cranberries. At the store with pimientos, I bought another two but for $0.29 cents more. 

We ate lunch at Chicken Salad Chick. I had a scoop of classic Carol and potato soup. It all seemed too salty. I asked Tommy if we had thought salt was tasty all along. He had Fruity Fran and Potato soup. They discontinued his favorite--Chicken Noodle Soup.  I did not eat the crackers or cookies. Both of us asked for the pickle to be left off our order.

At Belk's I could not find house shoes, so brought home three pair to try on since it was time to leave to get home before dark. But, it got dark before we came home.. There was no scarf like I wanted. All the decorations were so pretty as we walked by. 

We are exhausted.  

At what point should I have hit this guy? 


  1. Wow that guy sounds like a real jerk! What IS his problem!!!

    1. Treaders,
      1. He us a guy.
      2. He is a preacher.
      3. Paternalistic.

      Those are overlapping.

  2. Not sure why you would roll your window down to him at all with a past track record. I would leave the window up, until wife came to my window. He could go to Tommy's side. That is just me!

    1. Cheryl,
      Second chances idea. We have turned down invitations to their house for at least a year. I was hoping maybe she had talked him down. I told Tommy as we drove away that I would never roll down the window again, just motion him to go around.

  3. I think I'd be done with the friendship with that guy.

    1. I like his wife. And, he is okay until he comes at me.

  4. He is a Minister so he should touch you Spiritually Not Physically ! It must be very upsetting indeed and Yes do keep your window closed in future to feel safe. I do like the names of your potato soups, they have delightful names at the Chick shop !

    1. Tuliika,
      Minister twist things so they can touch since most people are too lenient with ministers. Oppose a minister and you might go to Hell mentality. Nothing evil or untowards is supposed to come from a minister, so this touching must be okay. NOT!
      The food is wonderful! Names are cute.


Okay, hoping the annoyances have gone away.