Three Friends--Conversations

 There are three friends with whom I speak that who older than I am. I am slowly watching, hearing them fade away. It is good to talk with them. However, it is painful to find people not what they were. I know the adult children of all three. 

The relative had a stroke, so is not as 'with it' as she should be. She is confined to a wheelchair. There are days I call her and she does not feel well enough to talk. Medication is often the problem. I learn when I can call. I understand but would hate to lose the connection to a relative. She is 88. I hope never to have a stroke since the two have taken so much from her. We share family stories and have found out so much about our past lives. We can laugh about our life circumstances. Her husband has slowed down, she says, but she has him and children who are very much hands on and supportive.

The other friend I have known since 1980. She is 85 or a few years older, can barely walk with a walker. She was so active when I met her when she was 40. She could physically work circles around me. Life has taken a toll on her. Since her husband died, she has had many debilitating falls. She sounds weaker all the time. I notice her memory is not what it should be. We still laugh when we reconnect. She was always a friend with whom I laughed. 

The other friend I have known for about ten years. She is 92, fully mobile, needing no help to get around, and until the last few months has been very sharp. Now, she forgets things. She has never fallen. She and her husband were sort of forced to move from one rental to another. I think the lack of trees and flowers at her new home has had an effect on her mental acuity. She is sad about these loses. I know it did take her about three months to recover from the move even with help. Her husband has gotten lost getting to their new home. I have little contact with him, so I am not sure about his mental acuity. 

These are my telephone connections. I do see the 92-year-old friend. I have not seen the relative in decades. The other friend does not go out a lot. And, driving to see her is difficult. 

I would be devastated if I lost either of these three friends. The loss would be indescribable! There are others I know, but with these I have a special relationship. 

The older woman invites us over all the time. The relative is really too far away to visit. The friend who falls may not feel like company. 

Sunday, I was thinking about the health of these three women. This thinking was not ruminating about the 'what ifs' or about their dire futures. Today, Sunday, was a quiet day. So, there was time to think about people with whom I share time and space. All the thoughts were about pleasant conversation we have shared in the last week. 

Do you ever spend time quietly contemplating the lives of your older friends and relatives with whom you feel close? Do you worry just a little bit about losing them? 

Monday now. The skies were clear, cold wind even though in the 50s.

Since I slept only three hours last night, I am going for a nap. I will sear a roast and Tommy will peel carrots and potatoes. Add an onion and we will have roast.