After parking in a handicap parking space, I got out of the car, walked to the back of the car, turned around and opened the car to get my bottle of water. An older man sort of stopped and stepped one step between my car and the other and was looking intently for a moment at something. I figured he was just a flirt, and ignored him. He walked to a cart in the parking lot and was using it to lean on as he limped along.
He sort of veered toward me making me think he might clip my ankles. So, slowing down I sort of put my hand out to ward him off. He gave me a dirty look and veered away, saying, "You are not supposed to use that handicapped space because you don't have a hang tag and are not handicapped!" He was so mean. I said, "I don't have a hang tag." He interrupted me saying, "See, you are not supposed to park there."
I was trying to say that I had a handicapped license plate. I told him that I had a 100% disability that was not going away. He was snarling at me accusing me of lying, saying he wanted nothing to do with me, rolling his eyes, saying "uh huh" and "yeah, right!" "pft.",,,over and over. So dismissive. So insulting!
I was humiliated because others were looking and he was loud. LOL so, briefly told them the problem of him calling me a liar.
After I went my way to the pharmacy, he was there. So, I got set and told him all in one breath that my car was totaled when someone hit me and I could not take the handicap tag and put it on the rental car. He said, "sure you did." Then he got nastier than his old, mean self and told me to quit following him, that he wanted nothing to do with me.
People were turning to look...oh, humiliation!
I do have a hang tag somewhere. And, I went and retrieved my handicap tag from the wrecked car. I suppose I will tape it in the back window. I have a tag receipt with the designation on it, so I have no fear of police or a ticket.
I asked exbf what would happen if I rammed the mean man with the electric cart and just kept bearing down on the guy. Exbf said, "I would drive straight to Cullman and bail you out!" THAT MADE ME LAUGH! I could afford to back up and hit him another time or two! There is no use going to jail for a simple injury. Might as well really hurt the guy. By the way, I have a rich fantasy life.
I was going to find him and ask him if he went to church. He would have said yes and I would have said, I thought you must be a Christian. Then, I was going to say to him that from his attitude toward someone who had irreversible problems that he must be a Republican, too. But, he got away. Lucky him.
For the life of me, I do not understand people like that. Now, all you Christians and Republicans, don't get in a snit.
I used a hang tag when I had my knee injury. I'd pull into a space and see people staring and getting ready to say something nasty, then I'd hang my tag and they'd seem to be a bit better. One lady did come out of a store and was about to say something until she saw me step away from the door and then saw my big leg brace. Even when it was justified, I still felt humiliated. I am sorry you faced this! I know I got a lot of dirty looks and should have been more outspoken like you. People don't realize that we aren't happy about the fact that we even need one in the first place.
ReplyDeleteMrs.
DeleteWho would want a disability? It is not fun or lucrative at all.
People are so ready to be judgmental. Why the hate?
I have my Mom's hang tag in my car since we use my car when I take her somewhere. I used to let her out at the door and then park and meet her, but she wanders away from the door now and I panic until I find her. I am sure I get ugly looks but I don't care. Keeping her safe is my top concern.
ReplyDeleteAnne,
DeleteWhy are people so quick to judge? Well, I know why--because so many people try to use hang tags when they do not need one. You have to do whatever it takes to keep your mother safe! Oh, how is your mother?
This is a common story here, as well. People get a bit narky about disabled parking but I understand because I think there are those who are taking advantage.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, I would never actually accuse anyone.
kylie,
DeleteMaybe accuse, maybe ask. But, he went way beyond!
I have seen able bodied people use the handicapped spots because I live in a small town and know who they are. I have a tag because I am on oxygen full time and cannot walk a long ways. What gripes me even more is the Walmart fatties using the motorized carts when all they need the exercise. I keep my tag in my purse at all times, too. And....I am a Christian and a Republican. What attitude are you talking about?
ReplyDeleteYep, I live in a small town, too. A guy who is a store manager that I have known for forty years uses handicap spaces. I did not realize he was disabled. I am one of the fatties on the electric cart. Last week, a man loudly told me I need to quit riding, eat less and lose weight.
DeleteHow did you keep from telling the guy who said you need to quit riding, eat less, and lose weight to eff off.
DeleteSusie,
DeleteI was stunned to receive that kind of treatment, AND he moved away quickly and around a corner. I was blocked, but I did look for him. I was wounded deeply by his cruelty. That shook me for days.
Tewshooz, that is very mean! "Walmart Fatties?" I don't abide by body shaming. You can't know the instances of somebody's life by a cursory glance in a discount store. And, even so, when are comments like "fatties" acceptable?
DeleteMy DH probably looks perfectly able bodied, but he has a hang tag. He had cardiac issues, which aren't visible to the eye, NOT that his medical condition is anybody's business beyond the fact that his doctors saw fit to approve the tag. Both his doctors and I had to insist on his using it, because he was worried he'd get comments from people like you.
*has* cardiac issues, not had. The problem is chronic. But, since I had to come back to correct that typo, I decided to indulge myself and add: Tewshooz, your irony, (or cognitive dissonance) is freakin' hilarious. You use a term like "Walmart fatties," identify yourself as Christian and Republican, then ask Linda what attitude she was referring to when she used the term Republican in reference to the man she wrote about.
DeleteYears ago, I wondered why the people on the electric carts did not exercise instead of using the cart. I know better now, so I don't hold it against her.
DeleteThese are called hidden disabilities. I don't look disabled early in the day. After sitting on the cart for any time, I can barely get off it or walk.
I know I am just one person, but I realize that it is not possible to tell by just looking whether a person needs disability parking or to use one of those handicap carts in a store. There have been times when I could have used the cart for various problems, but I was afraid I couldn't handle it properly as I am not very good at things like that. Let's give people the benefit of the doubt and save your animosity for more important things.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes.
DeleteWhen exbf took his Sam's Club retirement job, he remarked that some people ride the cart up to the door to leave, AND they can walk. They don't need a cart. I set him straight. Now, he must use the electric cart. People just need to be enlightened.
DeleteI have a friend who has lupus. She can walk to the store from the parking place, and you would think she was fine. But any more than those ten steps and she would be bending over. Lots of disabilities are not visible.
DeleteBarbara,
DeleteI think when a person has a friend or relative who has a hidden disability, it makes it easier to realize these things happen.
I did have a friend chuckle that the doctor forgot to revoke his hang tag privilege, so now he would have easy parking forever.
When I run into people like that I think about his poor wife and children and grandchildren. You know he has been like that his entire life and he must just run rough shod over his family. They sometimes are still married because they beat down their wife that so she believes she could never have a better life without him. He's not worth your worry, but his family does deserve our pity.
ReplyDeletetana50,
DeleteFunny you should mention this. At times, I have told an obnoxious man that I felt sorry for his wife. Those conversations are interesting. It is absolutely true that these men make people miserable.