EC, I have know people who, as they grew older, gave away items to relatives who had expressed a liking of an article. Some even have given little grandchildren items they love or loved as a child.
My mom is doing exactly this (though probably doesn't know there is a term for it). She's given me some things and DD some things. She said she is going to go through more, ask if we want it now, if not she's getting rid of. She doesn't have any clutter or excess anyway, so I don't think it's really necessary for her. Her house is small, neat as a pin, everything in its place and not alot of stuff to begin with. I'll feel very sorry for my DD if DH dies after me. I already told her, feel free to just unload his hoard of stuff in the shop and garage in one lump buyout. It would be a nightmare to go through.
One, I had a friend whose wife had an antique shop and a barn stash at home full of stuff. He said if she dies first, he is putting a match to the whole thing, that it would be too hard to unload it all.
I guess your mother keeps her house neat because she has always been aware of how much was there, and maybe she is not too sentimental.
I am on a continuous mission to get rid of stuff but the idea of Swedish death cleaning is something i have only heard of recently. I don't try to minimise my possessions to make it easier on people when I die but to make it easier on me while I live! I had a neighbour who collected china. Every piece was stored in the original box (which is great for re-sale value) and when she died she left a bedroom and a garden shed full of it. It was worth a fortune but she had never enjoyed it and her son didnt want to deal with it so he shipped it all off to a distant cousin who probably sold it and profited.
kylie, Like you, I would not declutter anything except to make living easier. That is sad she never used it. I have a friend that says you cannot walk in his house for stacks of China that he buys off eBay or at garage sales. I don't think her buys new, ever. I don't get it.
That's the part I don't get about having "stuff". If it's just in boxes and storage, what is the point in having it. In my DH's case it's always "well, someday I'm going to use it". I guess I'm like my mom and grandma before her, not that sentimental about most things.
I understand the article and agree with it. I have sons and they are not going to want much of what I have. (Pretty sure they will fight over my piano though) Mother is sentimental about everything and saves every thing. When the time comes it is going to be a huge chore to get rid of all the "things" It will be the same here except I am not sentimental about things. I just have too many of them.
If we only knew when our time was running out, this would be easier. What if I get to be 90 and have given away almost everything. And, then I miss my "things" and am lonely for them. I am and am not sentimental. If either of my children expressed an interest in anything I am willing to let go of, I would give it that child. The piano is going to be a knotty situation. Maybe you could leave instructions they draw straws. Maybe they will be extra nice, hoping to get the piano. jk
As we have been trying to reduce our 'stuff' by 25% a year, since last year, my sister alerted me to the Swedish Death Cleaning. Personally, I think it's a great idea, especially after my FIL died and the 3 sons had to go thru literally tons of 'stuff' that nobody wanted.
We keep what makes us happy, what we use, what we value but are letting go of the rest of it. Some of that has been yarn and knitting supplies for me, lots of gardening tools, bits and pieces left from home projects for hubby. Why would we want to burden our sons, 2 of 3 live more than 1000 miles away, with getting rid of all of it?
Bellen, My material stays! How hard is it to toss the whole box or bag? I did get rid of about half last summer. Then, I got rid of another half this fall.
However, I am trying to get the truly sentimental stuff in one place, some my mother's and grandmother's, just a piece or two from each. Those make me happy.
I have tools I will never use, but I find that if I have a tool a guy needs, he is more likely to fix whatever. One guy came with three boxes of tools and had to use two of mine. I have so few tools that those would be easy to dispose of. Wood can go!
That is a long way to come to sort or just toss things. Good for you.
It sounds very sensible to me. A way of relieving your family of a difficult job at a time when they are grieving.
ReplyDeleteEC,
DeleteI have know people who, as they grew older, gave away items to relatives who had expressed a liking of an article. Some even have given little grandchildren items they love or loved as a child.
My mom is doing exactly this (though probably doesn't know there is a term for it). She's given me some things and DD some things. She said she is going to go through more, ask if we want it now, if not she's getting rid of. She doesn't have any clutter or excess anyway, so I don't think it's really necessary for her. Her house is small, neat as a pin, everything in its place and not alot of stuff to begin with. I'll feel very sorry for my DD if DH dies after me. I already told her, feel free to just unload his hoard of stuff in the shop and garage in one lump buyout. It would be a nightmare to go through.
ReplyDeleteOne,
DeleteI had a friend whose wife had an antique shop and a barn stash at home full of stuff. He said if she dies first, he is putting a match to the whole thing, that it would be too hard to unload it all.
I guess your mother keeps her house neat because she has always been aware of how much was there, and maybe she is not too sentimental.
I am on a continuous mission to get rid of stuff but the idea of Swedish death cleaning is something i have only heard of recently. I don't try to minimise my possessions to make it easier on people when I die but to make it easier on me while I live!
ReplyDeleteI had a neighbour who collected china. Every piece was stored in the original box (which is great for re-sale value) and when she died she left a bedroom and a garden shed full of it. It was worth a fortune but she had never enjoyed it and her son didnt want to deal with it so he shipped it all off to a distant cousin who probably sold it and profited.
kylie,
DeleteLike you, I would not declutter anything except to make living easier. That is sad she never used it. I have a friend that says you cannot walk in his house for stacks of China that he buys off eBay or at garage sales. I don't think her buys new, ever. I don't get it.
That's the part I don't get about having "stuff". If it's just in boxes and storage, what is the point in having it. In my DH's case it's always "well, someday I'm going to use it". I guess I'm like my mom and grandma before her, not that sentimental about most things.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if he will move it into your new home.
ReplyDeleteI understand the article and agree with it. I have sons and they are not going to want much of what I have. (Pretty sure they will fight over my piano though) Mother is sentimental about everything and saves every thing. When the time comes it is going to be a huge chore to get rid of all the "things"
ReplyDeleteIt will be the same here except I am not sentimental about things. I just have too many of them.
If we only knew when our time was running out, this would be easier. What if I get to be 90 and have given away almost everything. And, then I miss my "things" and am lonely for them. I am and am not sentimental. If either of my children expressed an interest in anything I am willing to let go of, I would give it that child. The piano is going to be a knotty situation. Maybe you could leave instructions they draw straws. Maybe they will be extra nice, hoping to get the piano. jk
DeleteAs we have been trying to reduce our 'stuff' by 25% a year, since last year, my sister alerted me to the Swedish Death Cleaning. Personally, I think it's a great idea, especially after my FIL died and the 3 sons had to go thru literally tons of 'stuff' that nobody wanted.
ReplyDeleteWe keep what makes us happy, what we use, what we value but are letting go of the rest of it. Some of that has been yarn and knitting supplies for me, lots of gardening tools, bits and pieces left from home projects for hubby. Why would we want to burden our sons, 2 of 3 live more than 1000 miles away, with getting rid of all of it?
Bellen,
DeleteMy material stays! How hard is it to toss the whole box or bag? I did get rid of about half last summer. Then, I got rid of another half this fall.
However, I am trying to get the truly sentimental stuff in one place, some my mother's and grandmother's, just a piece or two from each. Those make me happy.
I have tools I will never use, but I find that if I have a tool a guy needs, he is more likely to fix whatever. One guy came with three boxes of tools and had to use two of mine. I have so few tools that those would be easy to dispose of. Wood can go!
That is a long way to come to sort or just toss things. Good for you.