HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Today, July 6, is my older girl and second child's birthday. In 1970, I decided to ride the bus to my parents' house in Memphis with a child who was 27 months old. I was due in a month. I did not look that pregnant, so no one at bus station questioned me. Did anyone question how far along a woman was?
My diaper bag, purse, one suitcase or bag, plus a toddler who weighed a ton, and a teddy bear were along for the ride. He was good, but he was two! When we arrived in Memphis, I could not get out of the bus with my belongings and a child carry a teddy bear.
My teen sister was picking me up at the bus station. I sat still until she could come and unburden me. Then, and only then, could I drag myself from the bus and then, I could barely walk.
I arrived on July 3, 1970. I spent the 4th in a lounge in the backyard while Daddy cleaned the house-sized ac worked in yard and grilled. That was Saturday. On Sunday afternoon we went somewhere insignificant. Daddy hit a pothole or something that left a lasting pain.
Just before midnight, my water broke. I called my husband. So, Mama and Daddy took me and son to the hospital since I thought birth was imminent. Once at the hospital, I was met with obstacles and little care. They (whoever) examined me and said I was not ready to give birth and really doubted my water broke.
One nurse roughly told me the baby was too small and would probably die. I was very alarmed!
When we came in, the people registering me pressured my parents to sign and be responsible for the bill since I apparently had no husband or insurance. I did but did not know insurance and was not owner of policy or something like that. I was so stressed and refused to have my parents sign even though they wanted to sign.
I was sent home. Just come back in 12 hours. I went home, took a bath and paced the floor. My husband got there very early. I had told him to sleep since I did not want him to wreck and kill himself. Around 11 am, we went back to the hospital. Mama wanted to go and be with me, but I begged her to stay and watch my child. Daddy had been known to be in charge of a toddler and forgot the child was there!
Once at the hospital again, my treatment was better since I had a responsible man with me. /s In the room as I was undressing and was lying on the table, I remarked that I would be so happy to get this baby out because I was hurting. I could barely walk because I had to flop my left leg instead of picking up my left food. A nurse told me the baby would be better off staying inside until the due date.
As with my first child, I was sedated. Mama called the hospital and was told they did not know how long it would be because I refused to push. Later, I surmised I was trying to protect my baby by keeping it in. Once they somehow convinced me to push, I gave birth. It only took two hours unlike the six-hour first birth.
I had called my pediatrician we used for our son and told her what was happening. She arrived soon with a smile on her face. She said my daughter had eyebrows and fingernails and was not premature. She was so nice to me, unlike anyone else I interacted with that day. I don't remember seeing my doctor, but I used him for son's birth, too. He would have been nothing but kind.
As it turns out, OBGYN was unhappy because they sent me home. Both daughter and I had an infection and had to have antibiotics. He was very thorough, so I am sure he caught that. The nurses were mostly all very tight-lipped, so I wonder if he chastised people.
The same group of doctors delivered Lisa Marie Presley, something I didn't know until a year later. I always wondered if he delivered both Lisas since he was head doctor in that group.
She only weighed six pounds. I cried when I heard that because I had gained fifty pounds! However, within a or six weeks I had lost all the extra weight. My first child weighed 8lbs 9oz., so she seemed so tiny. Size 0 fell off her shoulder. She was tiny! She weighed 15 lbs. when a year old.
She is beautiful, smart, talented, singer, and can dance, too.
We drove around the neighborhood and saw lots of the tubes that are from fireworks. We knew we heard them nearby but could see nothing out the door. Well, all this was three streets behind us! And, we saw plastic all over a yard. I took a minute to realize they were patriotic blowups. Tonight, we went back after dark and the inflatables were flat. `We will try again tomorrow. I have not seen those inflatables before. Have you? We drove around the block and the inflatables are flat still.
Did you have a birth experience that did not take your feelings into account? Were you mistreated? Denied anything?
I gained a ton of weight with my pregnancies ("a little more than the norm" is the way my doctor described it) but lost it easily immediately afterwards too. I guess some women are just built to look like a Volkswagen Beetle when they are pregnant! Mind you, I wish the weight would come off as easily now!
ReplyDeleteTreaders,
DeleteThe thing is that when I told my mother I weighed 180 lbs, she said she did not know where it was on me. I never looked huge at all, and people thought I was not as far along as I was. However, I now do look pregnant, and the weight is not melting off like it did when I had babies. Isn't that cruel?
In all my births, starting with my first child, my only goal was a healthy baby, feelings be damned. With my first child, that is exactly what I said when, after 14 hours of induced labor an ultrasound discovered the baby had thrown his arm up, my doctor asked how I felt about a c-section. It turned out for the best as he was over 9 pounds I gained only 23, and I am a very small woman. The subsequent deliveries were scheduled c- sections. I was never mistreated, and wouldn't stand for it if I was. Although, after one delivery, among other things, the iv fluids, started building up in me, causing me to cough horribly. I knew what was going on, so I hit the call button for my nurse. The first thing she asked when she came in and saw my state was "How much do you smoke?" Not do you smoke, but how much. When I could talk I looked her straight in the eye, told her I had never smoked in my life, and before I could say anything else, her eyes grew huge, and she left abruptly and she came back with the resident. When the resident and I discussed what was happening, (which I knew) I mentioned that perhaps Nurse Ratchet over there might do well to take notes, which led to me telling him what she had said when she entered the room. The next ten minutes were spent hearing him lecture on the side effects of iv fluids, importance of getting post op patients as ambulatory as possible as soon as possible, all while folding and taping three blankets together which he told me to press against my incision every twenty minutes and cough as hard as I could stand. I was sorely tempted to report that nurse to her manager that shift, but I felt like she had learned her lesson.
ReplyDeleteMeg, That really annoys me when I am asked how much I smoke since I have never smoked. THAT is mistreatment!
DeleteI understand that medical personnel are trying to get the correct answer in order to treat the patient properly, and to that end, try to form questions in a way that aren't taken as a judgement, or give you the sense that they are diagnosing...she would have been better off to say "that cough is concerning, do you smoke?" That said, I figured any decent nurse worth her salt should have recognized immediately in that case what was going on. Having seen them in the classroom, I never forget that medical personnel are as inclined to physical and intellectual complacency if not downright laziness as anybody else.
DeleteAdd judgmental to that list.
DeleteLow thyroid will do that. Find a good endo who will test for other besides TSH.
ReplyDeleteTewshooz,
DeleteLow thyroid will do what?
Slow your metabolism so you gain weight easily. With slow metabolism you feel sluggish and weak and no energy.
DeleteTewshooz,
DeleteGot it. Yes, I knew that but did not understand in context of birth.
Pregnancy can cause hypothyroidism or Hashimoto's in which case you will have same symptoms as not pregnant. Weight gain, fatigue, etc. Difficult birth, etc. After birth many become hypothyroid, like I did. No doctor really bothered checking in those days.
DeleteTewshooz,
DeleteAs soon as I gave birth all three times, I was back to normal. I doubt that was my problem, but I am sorry you did have that. So, have you had H since giving birth?
As if you don't go through enough carrying a baby, then giving birth, to be exposed to such horrid treatment is unforgivable. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
ReplyDeleteSassybear
https://idleeyesandadormy.com/
Breenlantern,
DeleteYes, carrying a baby is an ordeal. You know I was affected, thinking I was responsible for a baby not living. And, I refused to push even when asleep.
what a tale.
ReplyDeleteI have nothing in comparison.
Urspo,
DeleteI don't suppose you do have a birth story. Hopefully, you never have anyone speak to you and frighten you so.
My birth experiences were all ok. Now that I know more there are things I wish were different but I was never mistreated or afraid.
ReplyDeleteIt's still happening though. I saw with my own eyes, an obstetrician absolutely screaming at a woman, threatening the death of herself and her babyif she wouldnt immediately consent to a ceasarean.
The mum waited an extra hour and made a great deal of progress and birthed her baby soon after. No surgery required.
The doctor didn't even have the grace to look sheepish
Not a birth story, but a liver surgery that a nurse after I was brought from ICU to regular floor accused me of being an drinker and drug abuser (used neither) and wouldn't help me get to bathroom. It didn't help that my daughter came in with a Hennessey backpack (her Godfather worked for a distributor)
ReplyDeleteMs. Sandie,
DeleteHow awful! Yes, she caught you with that backpack! /s
Her own morals got mixed up with her caregiver job. I have had nurses make judgments about me and my actions that were not true at all.
How did you get to the bathroom? Surely, she knew your falling would not be good.
Both of my births were okay. I had my first baby a month and a day before my 17th birthday. In those days they pretty much but you to sleep. I was given a spinal and had no issues. With my daughter I barely got settled into my room before it was time to go to the delivery room. I was on my way to the delivery room when my husband got to me after parking the car.
ReplyDeleteI had no problems other than I darn near had her in the bathroom. Two pushes and Autumn Jade made her entrance.
Janet,
DeleteI was sedated with the first two babies. With the third it was natural all the way. It took me two days to deliver her after labor pains started. AND, she was breech, always different that child. I am certainly glad you made it.