Contact Me

Sunday, February 11, 2024

Black Things, TMI, Handicapped Bathroom

 Saturday finally settled down to a humdrum existence which was great. Between the two of us, we baked bscb, red potatoes, and carrots. Then, I froze most of the breasts. Tommy took the skin and bones from the four thighs, and I froze those in three bags. One is for him to eat. The other is for chicken and dumplings. But, if he needs them, he can eat them. I want him to cook the ground beef tonight. I will make spaghetti. We have three days of doctor appointments and a day of cleaner coming. So, those four days we need food cooked ahead of time. Neither of us will want to cook, just dish it up and eat.

Saturday, the older teen was sitting behind my chair, moving things when she started talking about something I am very vocal about. She said, "Why do they make everything black. You cannot find things." When I need a wireless mouse, I specifically look for a white one, hopefully with some colors, also. I have bought some really ugly ones, but I was confident I could find it on the floor in a dark area, like between my chair and a table. 

I even try to buy purses without a black lining.

Okay, maybe this is TMI to you. But, Tommy and I do not hide our unclothed bodies. We don't necessarily close and lock the bathroom door. When I pass the bathroom and he is in there with the door open, I pass by without ogling. But, one day was different. 

I saw something out of the corner of my eye that made me look. He cannot step up three inches without holding onto something. He gets over the side of the tub, but I never asked how or saw him getting in or out of the tub to shower. Well, I did.

He was holding onto the top rail of the shower enclosure with the glass doors lifting his whole body with just his hands and arms. What interested me beyond the surprise of how he got over the tub side was his muscles. He had bulging muscles in arms, back, and shoulders. I was very impressed with his musculature. 

He did not believe how big his muscles were. He has a body that would be described probably as 'dad bod.' He had no stomach overhang and no love handles four years ago. Now, he does but has gained no weight. His belt just rides lower, like many men. But, above all that he has large and defined muscles when he lifts himself. 

At first, he objected to me telling this. Then, he said it was okay to tell everyone. What guy objects to a woman telling people how muscular he is? I suppose these are muscles developed since he does not use his lower body often, much like quadriplegics in wheelchairs.

The last time the plumber was here, Tommy started asking questions about the showers with low access. He does not want the walk-in tub, just a shower with low access. However, it will have a seat. That works for me. Several years ago, when he could not step up, he strongly objected to anything but what he has--tub with glass doors. Now, he seems to be amenable to getting something safer for both of us.

Right now, the rain, wind, thunder, and lightning are furious. There are no tornadoes forecast, but weather person said not to rule out the risk. Okay 

Do you have trouble finding anything black that has fallen on the floor? Do you deliberately try not to buy black items? 

Do you have a tub/shower with low entrance? A seat? 

15 comments:

  1. In our master bathroom, we had one of those big 'garden' tubs with the jets, and a small shower. I hated it. It felt like a phone booth. To shave my legs, my hiney would touch the side. Picking up a dropped item was impossible, unless able to squat directly down, not bend over. For this reason, the first eight years I lived here, I showered in the other bathroom, and then got ready in our bathroom. Finally, we had it renovated. We now have the most glorious walk in shower. It is 4'x11'. Four feet wide and eleven feet long. The entrance is almost flush to the floor, with only a lip in case water comes back that far (but it doesn't). There is a bench seat on each end. We have a rainshower shower head that I do not love, but also a handheld attachment that does the job. If either of us were ever wheelchair bound, we could roll in simply by putting maybe a 2x4 piece of wood as a sort of ramp. The entrance has no door since it is so far away from the shower heads.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That sounds wonderful. I like a handheld shower since I hate having water running over my head. That other shower you had sounds claustrophobic. Lucky you. Ours can only be in an area the size of his tub--not very large.

      Delete
  2. I hate to be a Debby Downer, but Tommy's method of getting in/out of the shower is totally unsafe. That top rail is not meant to hold glass doors plus the full weight of a man. He is actively courting disaster!

    At the least, he's going to bend that rail such that the glass door won't slide easily. At worst, he's going to bring down the rail, shatter the glass, and fall and break his bones on the edge of the tub.

    PLEASE have your handyman install a grab bar outside the shower on the wall, into the studs. It's SO necessary to keep Tommy safe! I can't stress this enough.

    If you remove a tub to be just a shower, don't have the builder put a seating ledge in the back. You will be too far away from the water controls and the shower spray. Plus they take up too much room.

    Much better to buy a safety shower chair that has a back and arms and that you can position it so it you can reach the handheld shower head plus controls.

    Also, don't forget about a grab bar within the shower to help you get up and down from your shower chair. That's IN ADDITION TO THE ONE AT THE THRESHOLD.

    Yes, I'm shouting. But Tommy's current access is a disaster on the brink of happening.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With both the doors on one side of the rail, there is little room to bend them. They are sturdy because they are over 40 years old. Having to drag a chair in and out is impossible for me. I have used the built in bench. I have used them in motels, and they work for me.
      He cannot lift his leg and bend his knees no matter how many bars there are to grab.

      Delete
  3. Your shower sounds entirely unsafe. As Sue said, those bars are NOT designed to hold the weight of a person, to the point that my builder, when building this place, informed us they are no longer permitted to put them in,(I wanted them in the kids' bathrooms for towels) because someone grabbed one for safety, and then sued. (Oh, we could put them in, but we wouldn't have passed final inspection!) I think you need to have the tub removed, and a walk in shower put in its place. It's not that expensive. You really need to access your county's elder services. They can help you facilitate these things.
    In the past two houses I have built, I have not put a tub in the master bathroom. In this house, I ha e a walk in shower with bench, two grab bars, and hand held shower head with a 7 foot, I believe, coil, to reach the bench. (This was the most expensive part, as the standard is 6 feet.) I also have grab bars, 2 each by the commode, as well as by the commode in the powder room. They are double backed, so trust me. I could pole dance on them, and they aren't going anywhere. My builder told me that he believes our county is going to require grab bars in all new construction before too long.
    Seriously, I can't believe you do not have elder services in your area which can help you navigate these things...safety assessments, referrals for cleaning, transportation to appointments, etc....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am not talking about towel bars! The rail that is top, bottom, sides to hold the sliding doors.

      Delete
    2. Would love you see you pole dance on those grab bars Meg B. lolz

      Delete
    3. Still not designed to hold a person.

      Delete
  4. I believe a shower safety chair can remain in the shower, if Sue and I are thinking of the same thing. No need to drag it in and out. I must agree with her that the way Tommy has to hold the top bar to get into the tub/shower is very dangerous. Even 40 years ago the top rail was not meant to to be used as he is using it. Please convince him that a step-in shower should be an immediate need for safety.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Remember, he is slow in following things he should do. He is talking about it, so it will happen.

      Delete
  5. Reading things like this sends me to a state of both frustration and anxiety. So he'd rather risk getting hurt on a ridiculous way to get in and out of the shower, instead of a very simple fix. And, then when the inevitable happens, he'll need already stretched to it's limit, emergency services, fire and or ambulance/EMT, potentially delaying help to someone else. Or, you'd try to help, hurting you both like the can of corn incident, or the throwing of the remote that resulted in the chair being unplugged, and yes, again, probably need emergency services for a self created crisis. I'm sorry if I sound unkind. I think I need to stop reading your posts- it's just too much.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Glad you like my paint by numbers. The kit came from Dollarama, you can get them in the Dollar Tree also and they come with everything you need.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Now, I cannot comment on my own blog. Thanks, Blogger.
    This post was about his muscles developed much like Special Olympics participants do, to make up for a lack elsewhere in their body.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh, I would love one of those walk i showers with a seat. Maybe someday. That was so funny Tommy telling you that you could tell people about his physique. tee hee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Belinda,
      I think the day I get a walk-in shower is closer. Okay, maybe this summer. At first, he was adamant that I not talk about it. I was impressed how that he had developed such impressive muscles doing that one move. Finally, he gave me permission.

      Delete

Okay, hoping the annoyances have gone away.