When I was talking on the phone to the person making appointment, she was talking x-rays. I emphatically told her I was not having x-rays, just MRI because I had had cancer and doctor did not want me to have x-rays. She challenged me and said, "Did the doctor say that??" She said I could not have MRI until I had x-rays because that is the way it is done. I felt like I was going to cry.
I told Tommy I wanted him to come in the exam room on Monday. He agreed. I felt like I would get respect for my decision if a man were there. I also felt like they would not pressure me.
As I sat in a wheelchair in the waiting room, a woman called my name and I raised my hand. She asked me if I were ready to come. I said I would if someone pushed me. She mentioned something about my friend pushing me. I told her it would be hard for him to use a walker and push my wheelchair. He was struggling to get to his feet. He definitely did not move like a man who could push me.
She came over and talked to me in a high voice like I was either mentally incompetent or a child. (I suppose the wheelchair gave me away.) In a high voice she said, "Okay, let's get you back here and get x-rays." I started crying and talking in a loud, whiny/shrill voice at the same time--"No, No, I am not getting x-rays. I have had cancer and do not want to get it again" Or, something like that. She was going to try to convince me, and I shrieked, "NO! I have had cancer. I cannot have x-rays!" And, tears flowed copiously again.
When we got out of this huge waiting room, she started in again, telling me the guy, forgot his name, a nurse practitioner would "talk to you about the x-rays." I started crying again, saying, "No, he won't talk to me about x-rays!" This time I was in another huge room with nurses at desks where they check out patients, make appointments and schedule surgeries. Surely someone must have asked about my crying. If she had to say anything that made it about my choice, she should have said I could talk to him. But, no, he was going to talk to me!
I made sure Tommy was coming and could see where they took me. We went into the exam room, sat, and waited. I told Tommy he could speak up at any time anyone wanted me to have an x-ray. The physician's assistant very wisely said they would schedule an MRI. Oops, I still need to do that. Tommy did interrupt him to say something, but I forgot what it was.
On Saturday or Sunday I was talking long-distance to one of my followers, a retired nurse, saying I was afraid I would cry if they kept pressuring me to have an x-ray. She said it might be good if they saw some emotion (think that is what she said) about my need. Well, I did not plan a cry or wailing. I cannot cry on command.
So, Monday was a traumatic day for me. But, Tommy stopped and got me my favorite Quizno's sandwich. Still, I was drained when we arrived home. Well, my home; he still had another 1.5 hours to home.
(I did have uterine cancer and had it removed two years ago. In 2003 I had half my thyroid and a huge growth removed. The growth was the kind that always becomes cancerous eventually. This is what the doctor told me, I was also told at that time to avoid x-rays. Since then when an x-ray was scheduled, I made them give me something to cover my thyroid, usually a glove. My refusal of x-rays and wariness is not a new thing. But, no one has ever pressured me to have one. They back off.
I suspect that some of you have had to deal with the emotions of trying to protect yourself. Sluggy has one wild story of a bad doctor, but I am not sure how emotional she had to get to protect herself from a doctor who almost killed her. I felt like I was being killed with all the x-ray talk. Seriously.
I still cannot open all blogs on my blog roll.
Okay, got a story to tell?
I have had breast cancer twice and have never been told I can't have a x-Ray.
ReplyDeleteMaybe there is no chance it will spread.
DeleteCheryl,
DeleteNo one told me I cannot have an x-ray. I was told to avoid x-rays.
Oh my?Thyroid cancer, no wonder you are afraid to have more x rays. What was their problem with doing some other type of imaging? I guess that they just have a certain way of doing stuff whether the patient agrees or not.
ReplyDeleteIn recent years, I have discovered if I become frustrated with medical people, or even other professionals, I cry easily. I try not to, but no matter how I try,I can't stop it. I don't know what that is all about. There was a day when I would give back just as good as I got from troublesome or rude service providers. I sometimes think there are some rude service providers that I wish I still had it in me to set them straight, but these days I am as often as not liable to cry if I am not feeling well. I really hate it.
I hope everything goes well when you get the MRI.
Susie,
DeleteMaybe you are feeling a little fragile with age whether you realize it or not. Or, maybe you think a grown-ass woman should have people listening to her! You do not want to be treated in a way that seems inevitable. Do you have anyone go along for the ride and go into the exam room? I never thought I would, but the woman making an appointment over the phone was not believing or respecting my wish for a very good reason. Give them 'what for' through your tears. That'll show them. I think the office where I went did not like the other patients who were waiting to hear me cry and say I had had cancer. They could also hear the rude woman pushing me in.
That was supposed to be an exclamation point instead of a question mark after Oh my! . Sorry for my poor typing.
ReplyDeleteSusie,
DeleteI find those kinds of mistakes years after posting. I am impressed you got it right away.
I think the main reason for X-rays is the money. Everyone wants to schedule X-rays THEN the MRI. All an X-ray shows are shadows and broken bones. I had Achilles' tendon repair surgery in August and re-injured it six weeks later. Hubby drove me to the ER (we were 60 miles from home at a family reunion). I told the doc at the hospital (where I had had my surgery) what happened, and the first thing he said was he'd order X-rays. I said I was NOT having X-rays because nothing was broken. He said they'd have to verify coverage with my insurance before doing one, and I told him I wasn't staying. I had to sign paperwork that I was leaving and my doc did an MRI the next day. You have EVERY right to refuse ANY test for ANY reason.
ReplyDeleteCatrina,
DeleteI was told it is protocol they have to follow. Of course, that is code for we want money for doing both. I allowed an xray after the wreck because I was jarred pretty hard and could have had a vertebrae broken.
Good for you! I refused to go to ER in an ambulance. The nurse practitioner even refused to tell me what it was I was going for. So, I angrily signed the papers that I was leaving. Now, I refused to see that woman.
Yes, I knew I could refuse. Of course, if you pass out, they don't need permission...lol. Thanks!
this story has so many upsetting parts to it.
ReplyDeleteIt's a common/awful phenomena when you are in a wheelchair people literally and figuratively talk down to you, supposing you are feeble-minded
Urspo,
DeleteBesides talking down to me, she had that little high voice and assumed if they told me enough times, I would capitulate. I have know Tommy for 15 years, and he probably saw me cry more that day than in all the years before. I was feeling bullied and like I was being defeated and killed.
After riding so far, I cannot get into the doctor's office. Thanks.
I am alive in spite of my doctors. I now have no problem saying NO! Today a nurse from my pcp called to say it was time for a follow=up checkup. I told her no. She asked how often did I come in for a check up...I told her 'when I get sick". She said come in for a flu shot. I said 'no'. She said the doctor wants to see me before the end of the year. I told her I will see the doctor when I want to. She said come in for Medicare checkup, which is a joke and great money maker for them. No. You have to look them straight in the eye and say NO. Do not waiver!! I am a thyroid patient, no x=rays for me, either.
ReplyDeleteWhat she should have said was that Medicare pays for two check ups a year and if you come in once more by the end of the year, they'll get their money.
DeleteTewshooz,
DeleteI have had calls similar to yours. I wonder if they have no patients and need to drum up work. I defy them often enough. That visit made me feel fragile and like I had no choice, so I cried in despair. I have had x-rays, but they were happening with more frequency and seemed to be done for no reason, like when I am told I can only have an MRI if I submit to an x-ray first! Thanks!
Catrina,
DeleteLOL!
Maybe you can get the doctor that told you 'no x=ray' to write you a note to that effect. Also, insist it be put into your medical records. You do not have to submit to x-rays first. Tell them you know your rights. You have the right to refuse any treatment
DeleteI knew I did not have to submit to x-rays, but I felt pressured and bullied even talking to the woman making the appointment. yes, I knew all this, but they seemed determined to make me submit to their wishes and it just seemed so unfair to pressure me. That doctor is long gone to the Alabama coast. But, I can talk to the gyno-oncologist. The woman with least power was the most insistent. Don't these people with no power realize that a heavy hand gives them no power? Thanks.
DeleteSorry this happened. People just dont care. Glad Tommy was there with you.
ReplyDeleteNawm,
DeleteThanks. I imagine they would have kept pushing if he were not present.
I haven't had this kind of problem myself but of course as a doula it is my job to support women who feeled bullied by the system during their pregnancy or labour. I have heard many, many stories like this and I wonder what the medical system would be like if every patient had a doula or some kind of support.
ReplyDeleteKeep saying no when you need to, it does get easier
kylie,
DeleteI usually am not so emotional when I don't give in. But, death was the only thing I could think about and they were pushing and not caring. I needed a doula for first two pregnancies, well, I suppose for the third. With the third I was in labor for about 36 hours. Finally, an x-ray showed it was a breach. They even wheeled me down the hall to a phone where my mother tried to convince me, begging me. Husband was against me, all nurses and doctor. No one told me it was a dangerous birth! But, she was fine. She always did things her own way.
I have said "no" before, but this seemed so serious and I knew I was going against "protocol."
I didn't mean to bang on about birth, I was thinking that if I know so many obstetric stories, how many times are people bullied and misled by all the other specialities?
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I think you and your daughter worked perfectly well together for a great result with her being breech
kylie,
DeleteNo, it was good what you had to say. And, you are right about other specialties bullying and misleading. I was very disappointed when I felt my mother piled on. I felt very alone. She would have come to the hospital, but I wanted her at my house caring for the two older. Their being safe and happy was more important than having her with me. Daughter came out--ten toes showing first.
I am so sorry you and Tommy had to go through all of this. This sounds like the Doctor Visit From Hell.
ReplyDeletetana50,
DeleteThanks. He was not happy with my treatment.