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Monday, December 1, 2014

Stupid, Bad Luck, Clumsy, Gremlins?

I was sitting here in my chair dunking cookies in milk and eating them. Well, I was breaking cookies half into and floating them in milk, using a spoon to lift them to my mouth. I only dribbled one bit of milk, just a drip actually. It fell onto a washable surface. So far, so good.

Then I was through. I picked up the bowl to drink the milk from it. Somehow, I managed with the other hand to tip the bowl. The milk splashed onto the jacket I was wearing and in at the neck while the bulk of the milk went into my left coat sleeve. I gasped a little squeaky gasp.

Still, it was not too bad. When I reached six inches to the left, all the milk in the left sleeve ran uphill and hit my armpit. I shrieked a bit. What milk hit my left leg swiftly ran down my pants, onto my bare foot and into my shoe. I shuddered.

As I moved to clean myself up with a pair of pants right next to me in laundry I had just gathered, the rest of the milk ran inside my blouse to my waist. I really shrieked a long drawn out anguished shriek.

All this time I was on the phone, listening to Charlie. He had kept talking but now stopped. Then, I moved the coat off my lap and more milk ran down my right leg and into the other shoe. I looked down to clean my shoes, feet, and pants leg, hoping to remove milk. I noticed that the carpet had milk all over it, great big spots.

This was my last pair of clean pants, a clean shirt, the only jacket I wear in the house. sigh

And, all this without water...ugh. Okay, then I felt milk under my chin. argh Then, I got up and found my whole back to the waist was wet from the milk running to my armpit. Now, the chair is wet.

I will never take water for granted again, ever, in my whole life.

I do think the comment about the bottom falling out of the gallon tin of olive oil from a commenter was horrific. But, milk? And, no clean clothes and no water? I could die. I will be soured by morning because it is warm here!

Hopefully, the washcloth at the sink bath gets enough off.

Oh, just kidding about the "bad luck" bit. The rest? Who knows? It just happened in the blink of an eye.

Your turn
Have you ever poured, spilled or somehow managed to get food or a product from your chin to your toes? Make me laugh. That way, I won't cry.

14 comments:

  1. i havent managed anything quite like that but i once dropped a bottle of red cordial which seeped through the whole kitchen. when i went outside it was dripping down the external wall (which says something about the construction of this house

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. kylie,
      At least this is not red. That sounds horrendous. Thin walls?

      Delete
  2. Oh dear. That sounds truly dreadful - as does Kylie's mishap. Sadly I am a complete klutz and often spill things on myself. Or the floor. Or the table. Or all three...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EC,
      All three is more fun. As you must have guessed, I am a klutz, too.

      Delete
  3. I have a shelf built in just under my chin. Un fortunately every day that shelf catches at least a drip or two. I blame it on the hole in my bottom lip. After 70 years, I finally figured out a sorta solution, I only buy patterned tops. Sometimes, this camouflages the worst failures.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kristine,
      LOL I discovered that patterns do disguise anything I drip. I thought I was the only one who knew this...jk. I really hate patterned tops. But, I found three or four of the same silly floral print for $1 each. Since I was working in the yard lots back then, I bought them. I still have them and have even wiped my mouth on them when my dripping starts and I have no napkin. Getting out of this chair to get something to wipe my mouth would make a bigger mess. I only wear these blouses in house or yard or under a tshirt. Yes, I am into floral camouflage.

      Delete
  4. I'm a messy eater. I often end up covered in food, and worse, drinks somehow fall out of a hole under my chin and go all over the place. I think the worst was when I spilled chocolate milk while I was researching for an essay. I was made of chocolate milk, and the books I was reading were covered. I screamed!

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Janie,
      Chocolate milk is the worst. It never comes out of clothing, so I ruined things often. I can see you covered in chocolate milk. Yep, I screamed, too.

      Delete
  5. The last day of my first pregnancy resulted in a watermelon being dropped on the kitchen floor and I was finding seeds for a while LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Patti,
      Oh my. And, watermelon is soooo sticky. Being pregnant was certainly not a state to even clean it up. I could let my chickens in and they would find the seeds...lol.

      Delete
    2. Brigid,
      I just saw this. thanks.

      Delete
    3. Brigid,
      That is a horrid scene even if the proposal were left out. Dog poop? Now, I have to skip ahead and read that. Funny!

      Delete
  6. In a scene that was too perfectly awkward to seem real, I tripped with four large chef salads on a tray (long ago, when I was waitress-ing myself through nursing school). The "tossed salad" quips were delivered at lightning speed, but not the broom or help.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cherdo,
      How awful. No help and no broom from people who are too busy laughing? Just your luck. My hens would have helped you. Thanks for the story.

      Delete

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