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Wednesday, August 2, 2017

I Crack Myself Up Sometimes

Tuesday night, I got a very late call from exbf. However, it was a bit earlier than I expected. It was from his cell phone. When I answered, I realized it was just a butt call. Usually, when I get these calls from him, I just keep saying his name, thinking maybe it is not a butt call.

Tuesday night, I yelled his name very loudly, over and over. Then, I just let out a piercing scream or four. I knew if the phone was in his front pant pocket, I would have to be loud.

Finally, I hung up and dialed him back. He answered the phone and grumbling said he was trying to get out of the car, so I told him just to call me when he got inside. He did. It seems he put his keys in his pocket and the keys dialed the phone.

I was laughing and telling how I was screaming his name over and over so loud anyone could have heard me three blocks away. He said, "You know, I was bent over getting something off the floor and I thought I heard someone calling my name, so I looked outside the car, thinking my neighbor was talking to me." By this time, he was laughing about his own confusion.

My simply laughing turned to full choking as I laughed harder. At one point, I could barely breathe. I was so impressed with my idea to yell his name and how I fooled him.

Yes, I cracked me up...lol...and still snickering.

What I was going for was his being at work, walking out with others, and all of a sudden his pants are calling him. He would have laughed, guarantee. And, so would the people near him.

Okay, maybe I overestimate how funny it was when he looked for a neighbor lady calling to him. Really, the only thing that made it funny was his confusion.

Late Tuesday afternoon, I went to the doctor because I had gotten a mosquito or flea bite infected by scratching it and causing damage to my leg and a really bad infection that was not responding to my otc meds. Well, it did respond and then got worse, I worried. Since I have diabetes, I did not want this to get so bad I need a wound specialist. My friend injured her leg above the ankle and soon the injury needed specialized treatment from a wound specialist. The whole infection ran about 8 inches up her leg, sort of like a tunnel under the skin. It was not a pretty sight.

As usual, she was not pro-active. (And, she is dead because she did not pay attention to her health and follow doctors' orders.)   I am exactly the opposite.  Consequently, I have an antibiotic to take and a strong antibiotic prescription ointment.

Early Tuesday afternoon, J mowed. She tripped three times on the wisteria vines as she mowed. Tomorrow morning, she is coming back to lop all the vines and put brush killer on the cut ends. J is amazed at how strong wisteria can be, and how it wraps so tightly around things. Some of these are a half inch in diameter and in another area that is still near where she cut and poisoned a month or so ago.

And, J cut about an inch off my hair. It is still longer than it has been in 30 years. I keep asking people if I am too old for this much hair. People who will tell me the truth say it is not too long for an old lady. When I find my hair dresser, I will get a proper and shorter cut.

If you have wisteria, GET RID OF IT!

Your turn
What is the funniest prank you have played on someone, nothing mean or harmful? Is there anyone who scratches until you bring blood when bitten by an insect?

18 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I did, too, until it got underfoot and was tripping me. It smells amazing.

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  2. Being the brown thumb that I am, I had to Google what Wisteria is. My hubs butt dials me frequently. If he doesn't answer by my second hello, I hang up figuring he'll call me back. I get annoyed easily so wouldn't have thought to try and be funny.

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    Replies
    1. SAM,
      So, have you ever seen it? Next time he butt dials you and you are where you can scream his name, do it. See how many people hear you. Now, you have to yell like you see him three blocks away and need to get his attention.

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  3. Why is it that something so beautiful - like wisteria and bittersweet - can be so dangerous. Wisteria grows every which way and can trip you and bittersweet grows all over everything smothering anything in its way. Both are invasive.

    Butt calls - hubby does it sometimes. I've tried yelling and screaming but no luck. Haven't tried whistling, my ability isn't very good, but have been told it works if it's just one long loud whistle. People will look for the sound.

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    Replies
    1. Bellen,
      It is tearing up fences around here, strangling trees. I am over the beauty as long as I am fighting it.

      I never yelled or screamed before. It just struck me to do it. I wonder how a whistle would work?

      Most of the time, I wasn't to get his attention because I imagine he is hurt and needs help.

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  4. I love wisteria, growing up a trellis but the power of those vines cannot be underestimated. They will take over whatever they want. One of my friends told me she hated morning glories. I was incredulous. One of my favorite flowers. But she was talking about bindweed which has a morning glory like flower. They strangle host plants and I hate them too. The power of nature. I have been butt called but cannot think of any pranks that I have pulled.

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    Replies
    1. carol,
      Wisteria is a beautiful scourge. If it were not so pretty and fragrant, people would attack it like kudzu.

      I don't know what morning glory or bindweed is. I will look and beware.

      Well, now you have ideas for butt call pranks.

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  5. I always say "If it itches you cannot scratch it". So if something starts itching, I will look closely at it and then put something on it before I scratch. Then it usually just goes away. But I have to keep remembering not to scratch. An itch is as bad as your wisteria!

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    1. tana50,
      I never look first. I have to be bloody before I pay attention. Besides, I will awake and have been scratching in my sleep. The thing is--I have so many itches from allergies, not just bites. I guess I would choose wisteria since it can be managed from afar and does not go to bed with me!

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  6. go to walmart and get chiggerex.
    has cloves and can stop many itches.
    chiggers do not have to be involved.
    tea tree oil will kill an infection.
    test on skin first to see if you are sensitive.
    daughter mixes with almond oil.
    put around red place where the bite is. it should kill all germs.
    but you still need to see the doc.

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    Replies
    1. Deborah,
      I will keep this in mind and get some. I put all sorts of stuff on the stop itches. The strong stuff is not killing itching for me right now. I have been usinf Vicks Vaporub.

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  7. Essential oil of peppermint scrambles nerve signals and usually relieves itching within minutes. As Deborah said tea tree prevents infections and helps with healing.

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    Replies
    1. Janet,
      I could rub peppermint candy in a pinch? Jk. This is all good info to know.

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  8. Peppermint essential oil is fairly inexpensive in comparison to many of the other oils. It is a good investment because a little goes a long way. Just be sure to keep it away from your eyes and sensitive areas. I use mine straight, but maybe I have a tough hide.

    I am internet/acronym illiterate. I had to look up Jk. There is actually an acronym/slang dictionary online for slow people. lol

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    Replies
    1. Janet,
      Thanks. Do they sell it at Walmart? I did not mean to use something to make my comment not understood. I probably need that dictionary myself.

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  9. I don't know if they sell it at Walmart as I don't shop there. The closest one is 40 miles away. Most health food stores will have it. NOW brand is good and I think under $10 (I think). Anyway, it goes a long way and is a good investment.

    ReplyDelete

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