Everything that commenters said about the messy job of pitting cherries made me think. And think. And think.
thimble or something to push with
I used a coffee cup and put the funnel in it. The funnel has a lower opening of approximately one-half inch. If the end of the funnel is larger, you will just shove the cherry through. So, make sure the end of the funnel is wide enough for pit and straw to go through. It should be small enough so the cherry cannot be pushed through the small end of the funnel.
A straw that is one of the really sturdy reusable ones, but without the large diameter works. If you get a straw with a large diameter, the seed goes into the straw. Getting the seed out of the straw is not fun and slows down the process.
There are two straws that work. One is the Pioneer Woman set of 12 straws. It was only $3 for the package, way more than I wanted to pay. But, they are the correct diameter. I found them at Walmart.
The other straw that works is one on a pineapple-shaped jar. The pineapple jar has a metal lid and green pineapple "leaves" on top with a hole for the straw through the lid and green top. These were $3+ but I got one for $0.75. Now, they are back up to the regular price at Walmart.
It is possible these very rigid straws are in another store. Maybe Sluggy can find them in Rite Aid. When I was looking in WM today, one of the tough straws in the pineapple jar was broken as though it were made of glass. The Pioneer Woman straws are not that brittle.
I put the funnel in the cup and the cherry in the funnel. (First, pull off the stem.) I just shoved the straw through the cherry. The pit was in the cup as opposed to in the straw. Success!
Use a thimble or something over the top end of the straw to avoid trying to clutch the straw and shoving the straw into your hand. You can put anything over the top of the straw to cushion it, even a freshly laundered potholder. Alternately, you can wrap the straw with anything and tape it to make the top of the straw a sturdy handle, sort of like an ice pick handle or a screwdriver handle.
The funnel I am using was $1 at WM. They no longer have these at my WM. Today, WM had a set of four silicone funnels for $6. A collapsible funnel was about $5. This funnel is not one of my canning funnels.
Since I heard of the horrid mess pitting cherries can make, at first, I was dodging the juice that never was shooting all over. I checked my blouse, my counters, the wall...no cherry juice.
If I get too clumsy doing this and cannot hold the cup after I get tired or just get clumsy and knock it over, I have a plan. I have a small mixing bowl that I will lay an unfolded dishtowel over. Then, I will put the cup into the bowl squashing down the dishtowel into the mixing bowl. The cup will be more steady.
I know people put my ideas and pictures on Pinterest, and that's okay. If you put this idea up, even if you do the setup and take pictures, just give me credit for the idea, please.
Plus, there is one blogger who puts my ideas on her Facebook page as her own ideas. She never even says she saw the idea somewhere. She takes full credit. She never has had an original thought in ten years. You know who you are. I will do everything in my power to expose you. You know I mean it! I have been badgered by you for ten years. NO MORE! Sluggy knows who I mean.
Sorry for the last folks, but police matters must be explained. Remember how professors explained the rules in terms of "police matters"?
Okey dokey! Linda, take a deep breath.....
I cannot use my right hand, so this may take a long time to pit all these cherries. Oh, I type lightly, but driving or picking up anything hurts my hand. Besides, I don't type much at all. Sometimes, I just stop using both hands and type with my left index finger...sigh.
Even though this works, do you have doubts or questions? If you try this, let me know how it works for you even if it is a failure.