We have been having this discussion for years. Until Friday, it was a civil discussion, but exbf has irritated my last nerve over this. Ready?
I have one question. Don't muddy the waters with how we should make an effort to let each other off at the curb. Okay?
He was letting me off in the shopping center so I would not have to walk from the car when he parked out in the crowded parking lot. Lots of people were shopping. Lots of cars were in the driving lane in front of the shopping center.
As I got out of the car, I wanted to cross in front of the car and only have to be careful or hurry across one lane, the one next to the sidewalk. He refuses to allow me to cross in front of his vehicle, holding back the traffic. He says he is in the way and people want to hurry up and drive. He was very emphatic, telling me he had never waited for anyone to cross in front of him, that they always go behind his car. I told him I had never had anyone NOT allow me to cross in front of the car. No one has ever said to me that I should hang out and cross behind the driver's car.
That means I am deposited and must negotiate two lanes of traffic. He says that is the only way he has ever done it. So, I started getting loud, not screaming. "So, be careful with the feelings of the occupants of car behind you and just let me possibly get hit trying to hobble across two lanes." He knows my knees sometimes almost collapse!
Seriously, the whole idea of letting me out and then parking is so I will be on my feet less and have to hurry less across the one lane of traffic while feeling secure that I won't get hit in the lane we are driving. whew, long sentence. When I let my children out at school, I would never have dreamed of driving away and having them cross in front of the car behind me.
I know I am not a child, but I have never had an adult exit my car and I just drove away. I
allow them to cross in front of the car while I hold back one lane of traffic.
Finally, I yelled at him to let me go in front of his car. He was arguing as I slammed the door. But, I did get to cross in front of him. This has been a ten-year discussion and I am now willing to take a final stand.
I KNOW that circling the parking lot to get me on the curb side would work! But, the question is: do you let the passenger cross in front of your vehicle or cross behind your car, forcing the person to deal with the traffic going both ways? Front or behind?
As much as I am against getting involved in the arguments of others, I am going to stick my neck out here and say that I would never, ever allow a passenger to cross behind my car. Crossing in front gives me control over the car behind should they not be paying attention. If the car behind moves forward, they will bump my car and not squash my passenger between the vehicles. If my passenger has mobility issues, crossing in front insures that if they have a problem walking, I will see it right away and will be able to assist. And I just don't care if the driver of the car behind is inconvenienced for a matter of seconds it takes for my passenger to cross. The welfare of my passenger outweighs the impatience of another driver. And that is the opinion of this cranky old lady who trusts my driving but not the driving skills of others. LOL
ReplyDeleteVicki,
DeleteI asked, so it is okay to interfere. You put it so well. Thanks for a well-put answer.
I concur with Vicki. Passengers should cross in front of car dropping off for all reasons she said. I bet the car behind thinks the same-they don't know the intent is to cross.
ReplyDeleteSam,
DeleteThanks!
Unfortunately I can see both sides of the issue. One - crossing in front of the car dropping you off should mean blocking traffic behind. However, I have seen on more than one occasion a car behind pull around and almost hit the person crossing in front of the drop off car so crossing behind would/should/could be safer. I pay no heed to those in such a hurry they cannot wait a little bit for someone being dropped off.
ReplyDeleteI guess due diligence is needed in crossing by both the driver(s) and passenger crossing.
Personally, I always wait for my passenger/wife to cross in front of me as I just feel it's safer.
Tom,
DeleteThere is too much traffic to go around at this spot and occasion. Thanks.
crossing at front is safer to me
ReplyDeletebaili,
DeleteThanks.Yes, safer.
We were taught when we were kids to ALWAYS cross in front acter being let out. I even remember PSA's on t.v. about that. When we took driving lessons, the instructor taught that you let the person out, and if they need to cross, they cross IN FRONT of the car, and you as a driver wait until the passenger has exited to safety.
ReplyDeleteMeg,
DeleteA PSA? Thanks.
I always go in front of the car.
ReplyDeleteMnC,
DeleteUnless the driver almost runs me down, I do too.Thanks.
Ok if we are completely discounting circling the parking lot, I say cross in front. Sounds like he cares more about inconvenincing others than your safety. Or just being obstinate?
ReplyDeletecarol,
DeleteI have pointed out the same--my safety or their ability to drive over me. Yes, he is soooo obstinate. Thanks.
Crossing in front doesn't hold up traffic any longer than crossing in back of the drop-off vehicle (assuming the next car doesn't just run over you). Of course you cross in front! Much safer.
ReplyDeleteSusan
Susan,
DeleteI try to tell him things like that. Even if the car is willing to wait for me, I might then be standing in the middle of the road, waiting for a chance to cross since people don't have to or want to waste a second! It seems my safety is not on his mind! Thank you!