Socks and Me

Most every day I put on socks, there is a sock crisis. I am the Princess and the Pea but with socks instead of a mattress. Nothing feels right on my feet most days. Before I can walk, I have to take off my shoes a half dozen times to straighten my socks so they feel right. Finally, I gave up on cute socks. I buy bags of white socks and bags of black socks. So, there are two colors--no pink. But, I cannot put on a pair unless the right sock goes on the right foot and the left sock on the left foot. I can tell by looking which sock went on which foot even after wearing for the first time and washing a pair.

You know I cannot tell right from left, so those terms never enter my mind. But, I can tell which toe is longest on each foot and can see the big bump on the sock and which side it is on.

Then, at the same time, I have to put a worn right sock with a worn left sock--a holey right sock with a holey left sock, a newish right sock with a newish left sock. There are also socks with slightly grayish bottoms where I went barefoot on the porch or dirty floor. Some socks from the same bag are different at the top. The quarter inch "band" sock must go with the other quarter inch "band" sock. Some bands are not 1/4 inch but more like 5/16 inch. Others are nearer 3/16.  Some of the bands in the same bag have a slightly wider rib. I do this extreme sorting after doing laundry so the socks will be okay when I start to put a pair on.

Honest, my feet can tell the difference. Can yours?

I am not that particular, but my feet are. Plus, I cannot bear to discard a sock with just  a few holes. I am not hoarding it. It has just gotten to the point it feels realllly good. Socks and I have a complicated relationship. And, this is not OCD. It is a foot-feel thing.

One day, I was sitting here, taking my socks and shoes off and on one at a time, changing socks from one foot to the other, slipping on my shoe, pulling off the shoe, pulling out the toe of my sock and twisting the foot of the sock a bit...over and over. . I would make a sound very time---"uh," in a little voice, just like a kid. All this time I was chatting with exbf. He was sitting on the sofa opposite me, watching me. Finally, he said, "What are you doing?" I collapsed in gales of laughter at my own silliness and dilemma. I did not know he did not know. My face was warming as a blush surely spread. Except, I never blush, just feel warmth spread over my face.

About ten years ago I hurt/strained my back somehow (not what I have now) and had to be helped on and off the bed for about three days. The friend who was helping me had to put socks on me because my feet needed socks, and I could not reach my feet. He pulled the socks too tight. The pain in my back was so bad, I could not form a sentence.

NOW, my toes were being strangled and they screamed in my head. I was gasping for breath to talk, but all I could say because of back pain was "toes." He kept yanking my socks tighter against my toes, while I just tried to shriek. No sounds came out. I gasped, "Toes." and he yanked harder. I thought I had made a face that would clue him in that the toes hurting were the problem.  My toes kept screaming in pain as they were forcibly bent. Once again, I tried to communicate and he tried to help me. Finally, in anger and desperation, I managed to gasp and wail, "Toes hurt." Then, "Loosen!"

He laughed a whole lot more than necessary that day. He could barely pull my socks off my toes for laughing. He said he liked his socks pulled tight, but he could not understand how I could stand them so tight. Well, I couldn't.

My daughter NOW knows I don't like tight socks on my toes. When I go into the nursing home, she can make sure I have loose socks on my feet.

Before I told her about my relationship with socks, she was saying it takes her teen son forever to get his socks and shoes on where they feel right every morning before school. They looked fine to her.  I begged her to be patient and told her my sock dilemma. She thought it was pretty funny and strange. So, he inherited my toes. Thankfully, I don't wear the size shoe he does--13. Do you have a child with particular feet?

Now that it is getting cold, I have to think about socks...sigh. There are still a couple of months of sandal weather out there, thankfully!

Your turn
Do you find that socks cause problems for your feet and toes? Does a wrinkle drive you crazy like it does me? How do like your socks to fit your toes--snug or a little floppy? I know that I like mine "just right" but floppy is better than tight. How about you?