People have written me and asked why I don't have surgery. Others email and ask when I am having surgery. There were and are problems.
I solved the first problem--chickens. I had to bring them in each night and finally got chicken security completed. For a whole month, they will have to live in the pen 24/7. That is completed though not paid for completely.
As I was considering how I would be able to live without help, someone to help me after surgery, I tried doing things as though I had had surgery and was here convalescing. Some of you may not know they type surgery I need. 1--repair torn rotator cuff. 2--repair torn meniscus. 3--repair spine.
Spine problems--last vertebra sits on bone; two herniated discs; L5 is out of place. My legs and feet are going numb and affecting my safety when I walk.
Let's talk about the spine surgery. I will be in the hospital for 7-10 days. The rehab nursing home will be 3 weeks. So, I will be gone from here for a month. I have exbf who can come once a week and clean their pen, change leaves and pine straw on the ground and in sleeping box and nest box. My neighbor, Tony, will feed them once each day. That will have to do. So, I must amass enough food for that. Boxes of oats, cans of whole kernel corn, and something else will form the core. He will not have access to my house, so exbf will have to bring food to him. Or, I can figure out what else to store at Tony's house for the remainder of their food. Tony may not have scraps enough for them. I may scramble enough eggs and store in snack bags in a freezer bag for their protein. I usually give them produce that I do not expect Tony to go and get. Lots to think about, for sure.
I pretended I had my left arm secured to my chest like it will be for five weeks, according to the nurse. I cannot rise from the chair with back and knee problem using only my right arm and hand. I told the doctor's nurse who talks with me. She said I needed a motorized recliner. She told me to get one that reclined fully because I would need to sleep there. Whew, that's good because I cannot get out of bed with only one arm. Remember, I have back and knee problem. The back problem affects ability to use my legs.
I pretended that I had to keep left knee straight for a week, just like I did when I had meniscus repaired on right knee, and I tried to rise from my chair and then from my bed. I cannot do so because of back and shoulder problem. sigh The same doctor who operates on my shoulder will operate on the knee. A different orthopedic surgeon will operate on the back.
A prescription for a walker (knee) and a recliner with motor was sent to me. When I priced a recliner for someone as tall as I am and one that would be comfortable to sleep in, I had a bit of sticker shock--$800. No, Medicare will not pay for it. Yes, it has to be a recliner that will stand me up with a motor.
My friend suggested I buy one from Craig's list like she did for her mother. I doubt any individual will hold a chair while I pay for it, making payments. Plus, the time it would take to find a recliner that lies flat might take a long time once I saved my money. Then, if a cat or dog has been on it, my allergies will bother me.
If I have back surgery first, I am afraid that the knee and arm that need surgery would hinder me from being able to go through the physical therapy needed to recover the ability to walk. When I have surgery, I will not be able to walk before I go to the nursing home. So, I need the arm and leg to function.
I cannot lift a gallon of milk with one hand because I also injured both hands in two separate accidents, neither of which was my fault! So, I will have to switch to more expensive half gallons. I cannot get the lid off the peanut butter with one hand. I can open jelly and a loaf of bread. I feel like I am drowning and my life is flashing before my eyes.
Further worries. I have no one to help me. One friend told me that a nurse would come help me. This friend no longer talks to me because she is afraid I will need her. So be it. I cannot get my pants down and back up with only one hand. No, I cannot just wear a nightgown because I would freeze to death. And, I cannot wait to pee until the nurse comes. Exbf is too far away. Charlie would not come here even if I begged him to. He cannot afford to miss work. Besides, that is 75 miles for exbf and 50 for Charlie. Besides, I don't know Charlie that well. There is no place in my house for anyone to spend the night, honest.
Children are 1000 miles away with children and jobs. No, do not suggest one would come. not happening. Women friends are over 50 miles from here. "Friend" from here are practically non-existent. The several who might help have disabilities or kids in trouble. I fear anyone knowing I will be gone for a month. This is a safe neighborhood, but you never know. And, I will be totally incapacitated for the back surgery for a whole month.
I need a few decent night gowns ad panties, just Walmart quality for the hospital. Plus, I have to pay for the physical rehab nursing home to do my laundry. That will never happen because the detergent would either make me have an itchy rash or cause my allergies to make me stuffy. Therefore, I will wash my nightgowns and panties myself in the sink if need be.
If I had a social support system in this town and sufficient funds for the recliner, I would have had all three surgeries 18 months ago. I do not want to lose the ability to walk. Really, it all boils down to money. There are no programs. I tried.
Oh, I forgot about the car. The driver door lost the ability to stay open with a huge POP. I have to fight to get out now. I am not sure how I will manage to fight my way out of the car. I must be a sight now.
There is a church that delivers meals once a week. They refuse to bring me a dinner. Meals on wheels has boxed potatoes, TPV meat, and white bread. No thanks.
I don't have any of the "old people diseases" --diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, etc. But, my joints are falling apart. Some people tell me that I don't need surgery, just prayer. Another told me a massage would cure me. it is too late for Glucosamine Chondroitin to help. Someone save me from people who deny I actually need surgery. I am sorry I feel so lost, confused about this issue of what to do to regain my mobility.
UPDATE: I thought I made it clear--I will have surgery when I can afford the chair that will enable me to get up--the recliner that will lift me up.
I had my eyes dilated today, so this looking at the screen is killing me. Grammar and sentence structure are suffering, and I cannot be trusted to even improve this.