Last Friday, I did not hear of the shootings at the elementary school until about 4:30. Tears came. I felt depressed all evening. I was exhausted from Charlie and Tommy being here, my not getting rest during the day, following them around and putting out fires, chickens being chased, chickens being frightened, tracking and catching chickens. The last thing I needed was to cry.
My grandson is in first grade. His mother and his father, my son, are school teachers, junior high and high school, respectively. One daughter is a first grade teacher. The other daughter has a child in elementary school and another in high school. I could not help but imagine losing one of these adults or children and the pain it would cause me. I cried for all the lonely siblings and shattered parents. I did not cry for me, just for the pain I vaguely and acutely knew they were suffering.
Over the weekend, I would just become weepy and try to hold it back. As the tears came, I tried to think of something else. Nothing worked. Besides, not crying stuffs my sinuses, too. My sister said the same thing happens to her.
Why is crying expensive? My sinuses fill and do not drain; Eustachian tubes cause me problems and make my throat sore. Ears hurt; ears throb. Then, my chest becomes congested. Now, I have a fever. am taking OTC drugs in order to "fix" me. Chicken noodle soup was on the menu. Hall's Mentholyptus is dessert. I hope the Mucinex works soon. I may hit the horseradish next. This is definitely a night for putting Vick's Vaporub on the soles of my feet to stop the coughing. Yes, I wear socks over my feet. Hopefully, I will clear this up and not need antibiotics.
My usual limited productivity is further curtailed. My joints ache from the elevated temperature. I feel very detached. I have had to drive very carefully because I am distracted. I need to sleep.
But, I have my children and grandchildren. I feel gratitude.
Does crying ever cause you to eventually run a fever? Have sinus problems? Earaches? Does holding back tears do the same thing?