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Saturday, December 10, 2011

So, I had to lick it.

I had to lick my phone, my RED phone
My policy is "waste not; want not."....just so you know where this is coming from.  Why throw away what you buy.?

Christmas without Hershey's Kisses would be sad. I always get three kisses when I have a little chocolate break--a red kiss, a silver kiss, and a green kiss. This is not a matter of ocd, just aesthetics. It all works out, usually! This day, I popped a kiss into my mouth. Then, as I left the kitchen, I wanted both hands free. So, I ate ate another one and put the green one in my pocket for a second.

An hour later, I decided to take my cell phone from my pocket and encountered a yucky feeling. This is what I saw. I was horrified on two counts. I wasted chocolate, and my phone could be ruined. So, not wanting to waste a kiss, I licked my phone. It was so cold in here that the chocolate had hardened again! It was not coming off. I was not willing to sit around like a cat and just lick it clean. Besides, the phone tasted funny. I never knew that before now.

As I got up to go clean the phone, I felt something else. The key was even gooey-er and had the green foil paper stuck tight. The green foil still has some chocolaty goodness inside it. I am not licking foil. I know better. I tried to lick the key, but key metal is not good in the mouth. I put the whole chocolate mess  down to record for posterity, right on the notebook, wasting two sheets of chocolaty paper and getting chocolate on my RED camera.  Can you see the chocolate is on the key clip? Yes, there is some on the lanyard, something I did not see until now. Bummer!

Finally, I turned my pocket inside out. Not a speck of chocolate was on/in my pocket. I had not decided if I was going to lick my pocket or not. When I pulled the phone out, I must have grabbed the almost-liquid kiss and crushed it with my fingers.

Why is my car key on the phone? Because I kept locking my key in the car. If I were talking on my cell as I drove up to the gas pump and got out to buy gas, the phone in one hand and a bill in the other assured me all was well. No, the key needed to go with me. I have gotten rides home with strangers, friends I called, and done everything not to call the locksmith AGAIN.

I buy keys by the gross...jk. Losing keys is an ongoing problem around here. The locksmith and I became close friends. But, I am lovable, so I forgive me. There are three car keys and three house keys on me at all times.  They all live in my purse because I am afraid to put one under the car in the magnetic holder. Yes, I have locked all three in the house or in the car. sigh...sigh...sigh.  This is not an old age thing. I have done this fairly regularly for decades.

There are house keys hidden all over the yard. Since I have a new door knob, I don't worry about anyone finding them anymore.  Someday, someone with a metal detector will have fun discovering keys.

Don't waste chocolate!

Your turn
Do you ever forget you put chocolate in your pocket? Have a mess? Leave chocolate somewhere and forget it and make a mess?  Okay, anyone else lick chocolate off whatever it's smeared on? Fingers don't count. Okaaay, if someone else licks it off your fingers, that counts. But, we don't waste our chocolate, do we?


  1. This was a really funny post:)
    I scarf chocolate down too fast for this to ever happen to me:) But if it id, I'd think about licking it too!

  2. i have never had this happen to me as i am not a chocolate person. but the title reminded me of one of my bosses yelling "don't lick the barbie" at one of our parties.

    i was leaving one federal department to go to another. i hated to leave my colleagues as i loved my job. anyway, they threw me a big going away party, including a barbie cake. basically a round cake with a barbie sitting in the middle of it up to her waist. when i went to cut the cake, i first pulled out the barbie whose top was made of icing. i didn't want to waste the icing so i started licking the barbie. my boss yelling "don't lick the barbie - don't lick the barbie!"

    it was pretty funny i must admit. and so is your chocolate story. man you made quite the mess eh?

    your friend,

  3. kymber,
    LOL...No, we would never want to waste icing! I can imagine the thoughts going through his mind and cannot say it here. Yes, I make a mess with chocolate sometimes. I should never put it in my pocket, fanny pack, purse, or car seat on a hot day. You hear the stories coming?

  4. I went to the pharmacy today and encounter a yucky sticky feeling when I placed my hand in my handbag. It was my foundation bottle that had leaked everywhere - no licking was actioned.

  5. FDU
    Well, thank goodness! Yes, no licking required. Hey, sorry about the foundation AND the inside of your purse. I hate to waste anything.You must be feeling better if you are out and about.

  6. Not chocolate and it wasn't in "my" pocket, but I did buy my fiance at the time (now husband) an expensive fog watch for our anniversary. They're the watches that hang on a chain from your pocket. I even had it engraved with a lovely message from me.

    Now Dave had a habit of taking a breakfast drink to work with him. It was a soy drink in a little tetra pack you drink with a straw. I had no idea he was popping them in his pocket as he rode the bus to work.

    I asked about his watch a few times, thinking he'd be so thrilled with it because he always wanted a fog watch. Whenever I mentioned it however, he always changed the subject. I was still clueless as to it's fate, but one day I asked if I could see it as I'd forgotten what I wrote on it.

    He could avoid it no more. One of his breakfast drinks had leaked in his pocket and ruined the watch! He only had it for two days before he wrecked it, LOL. I was devastated because it took weeks to find one suitable for a guy to wear and I didn't have the heart to buy him another.

    We still have the watch cover (the part that was engraved) as a momento, and he stopped carrying drinks in his pockets on the bus. Or so I was told, LOL. Wished licking it would have saved it.

    I rarely carry stuff in my pockets, for some reason it annoys me.

  7. Poor guy, I can imagine how horrified he was. He knew you would discover it at some point. Plus, you had done such a good job, getting him something he wanted. I guess you were both in agony.

    I refused to wear pants with pockets until I got a cell phone and wanted to get calls to substitute. Then, I wanted pockets!

    Usually Hall's Mentholyptus gets washed in my pocket.

    Fog watch? You mean the kind that guys put in a coat with the chain hanging across their middle. Or, the one that guys hang from somewhere and put it the watch pocket in jeans? I searched for "fog watch" and could find nothing on the internet. I found the term, but not what it was other than a brand of watch. Help!

  8. I am not in the habit of putting things in my pockets, especially food.I am pretty sure I would have a mess because I am sure I would forget about it until it was too late. Like another comment, I tend to scarf my chocolate, so melting is not a problem. :)

    Your post made me smile. I would have never of thought to lick the chocolate. Now I know that I will have no desire to ever taste my phone because I am willing to take your word about how bad it tastes. This post also reminded me you your chicken eggs in the pocket. I see a pattern here. :)

    As for the keys, I have 2 solutions that have worked for me. One is a lanyard to wear your keys around your neck. This can either be hidden (over a t-shirt under a shirt or sweater) or visible with some really great designed lanyards. You just need to remember to put it around your neck when you get out of the car. Some lanyards have cell phone as well as camera attachment clips.

    Currently, I have my keys on a carabiner. Its an easy clip on and off, not the locking rock climbing ones. With this carabiner, I am able to clip my keys to my purse strap. I got a really bright pink one so it is always easy to find. Its very secure, and its long enough to actually zip the keys inside my purse while still attached to the outside purse strap. I never have to dig for my keys now.

  9. Kathy,
    Groan...yeah, the chicken eggs. What a mess! Normally, I don't put Kisses in my pocket because of earlier chocolate mishaps. (I have lots of chocolate stories. But, I did not have the energy to get back to the kitchen.) Besides, I was going to eat it immediately after the other one was gone. Yeah, that worked. NOT

    I could not stand something around my neck. I purchased a lanyard that held reading glasses when I took them off, so my glasses would be on my chest, not in a purse or the other room. I always thought I had a bug on me and was continually swatting and running in circles, trying to get away from it, begging people to help me. Gee, I sound looney. Well, my friends and I laugh a lot. You can see why!

    Another groan...finding keys in my purse. That is why I have three sets--1) jailer's key ring for my wrist so I will not put it down on a counter and lose it. 2) keys on small change/bill purse, 3) car key on cell and loose ring with only the house key. Many times, I drive with cell phone hanging. I give the cell or change purse to exbf when he is standing waiting until I find my keyring so he can get whatever I want from the car. He is puzzled as to why I cannot deal with keys. I never had a problem with a building or office key where I worked.

    Plus, people from halfway houses that cannot remember their way home wear keys around their necks when they go out to the mall. You can tell who they are by the lanyard with keys. Plus, people with dementia wear keys on a lanyard around their necks. When I am old and demented or live in a halfway house for those addicted to chocolate, I will consider a lanyard for my neck.

    The carabiner might interest me. I am a real minimalist when it comes to things on the jailer's key ring. I only have the house key and car key on there. Bright pink would really be good, as would RED. How long is the carabiner?

  10. The carabiner I have is 4-5 inches long, but they come in all different sizes and colors. Mine was only about $1.50. Lanyards also come in all different lengths. I have to have the longer ones, otherwise they bother me too.

    I couldn't stop laughing about your next to the last paragraph. I had never thought of this, or even been aware that I have seen this. It gives me something to think about, about how others possibly see me with a lanyard around my neck. I have been known to look lost and confused at the workplace. The halfway house for the chocolate addiction sounds good though. Sign me up.

    The lanyard with photo ID is required in a number of buildings that I work in. I clip my various office keys to the lanyard to make sure I don't set them down, lock myself in or out of something, or forget where they are to begin with.

    My fear is that someday I will need a big key carrier for my pocket like a janitor. I actually carry very few keys or items in my purse, briefcase and so on. I have always did this because I hate to pack stuff around. Just lazy I guess.

  11. Kathy,
    You have to know the signs. If you are in a mall with a lanyard and NAME TAG, you obviously are not from a halfway house or group home, no matter how confused you look. Some come from group homes for those who are not functional enough to live unassisted whether it is a Traumatic Brain Injury, mental illness, a low IQ or CP. I am in no way insulting anyone with these conditions.

    I just want to be identified correctly, not assisted to an officer because I am looking confused just because I am confused or my blood sugar is s bit low. These folk with limitations need a place where they can receive care in the least restrictive environment. Yes, they come to walk in the mall or sit on a bench all day....with a key around their necks...well, each has only one neck. I am way to tired too straighten out the last sentence.

    If I wore a lanyard with my two keys, I would seriously add a name tag with a fake company. Usually the group homes for people people with disabilities or the halfway houses do not put a name tag on the clients who live there. I suppose that would make them too conspicuous. Nope.

    There is no use wasting an officer's time or having the leader of the group home or halfway house person come to fetch me when I am just confused and forgetful.

    Okay, I am punchy from lack of sleep. Just put the right label on me.

    By the way, I have worked with the developmentally disabled, so I would never put them down.


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