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Monday, June 10, 2013

Spank Your Tomatoes and Give Them an Aspirin

I am all for producing more tomatoes. Spanking tomatoes is a very novel concept for me. I know it helps almond trees. Since I have no idea how to put a video on my blog, forgive the amateurish link to videos.

And, give them an aspirin:

Obviously, I could not figure out how to post a video. Maybe it is not me; maybe it is Blogger.

Your turn
Has anyone ever spanked their tomatoes? Given them an aspirin? What were the results?


  1. I love how this guy in the video has red xmas balls hanging as decoys for the birds.

  2. slugmama,
    You are so right. I am going to do that, too. Only, I have no Christmas balls out at the moment. So, I am going to find something round sitting here already, and spray paint it red. When Christmas rolls around, I will get all those old balls that are peeling and save them to spray paint for next year.

    1. I will probably find some cheap Christmas ornaments at a yard sale in a few weeks.

  3. I don't know what a tomater is. Anyone who says tomater with a straight face frightens me.


    1. Janie,
      It is better than "mater" or "tater." Still annoying. Saying "nanner" annoys me to no end. People think they are cute and country. Mama probably laughed and hugged them when they said those things! Maybe he needs a mouth spanking to cure him...jk.

    2. Or wash his mouth out with soap. My mom had lots of those "country" or "baby talk" words that she used with us. I never did that with my kids. I felt so embarrassed when I started school and didn't know the correct words for things.

    3. Janie,

      Mouth spanking was in reference to gently spanking tomatoes. I would never hit a child in mouth, face or head. The bottom, yes.

      It is cute for about two seconds when kids say these things. But, when a grown woman thinks she is a cutie for saying things like "sketti" for spaghetti, I am ill with horror. I cannot join in with other adults who laugh at these words coming from adults mouths.

      I did not do this with my children either beyond a few moments when we had a good laugh. You are right; it is not fair to children.

      There can be the family joke word, but everyone needs to know it is just a family thing and not for public.

  4. Linda - i can't watch the video becuz i don't have video set up on my computer. can you explain the spanking of the tomatoes?

    i learned from kurt saxon to brush my tomatoe leaves as if the wind was doing it...if that makes any sense? i can explain it better if you want.

    i also learned a couple of other tricks over the years in regards to - feed them with epsom salt water every two weeks. the second - when you dig a hole to plant your tomatoes in - line the hole with a banana peel.

    so you need to explain the spanking tomatoes and giving them aspirin to me!

    (as a complete and utter aside - back in my QL3 training (after basic training but before i was considered properly trained in my trade in the military) - someone, somehow learned that if you gave a guy who was hungover a birth control pill - he would lose the hangover almost immediately. honestly. also if you get cut flowers and you put a birth control pill in the water in the vase - the flowers will last an incredibly long time! just fyi!)

    your friend,

  5. kymber,
    I will store the birth control information and dazzle people with my trivia!

    Roll a newspaper, about 14 in long into a loose roll about 1.5 inches across. Put the newspaper roll in the plant and gently tap on the main stem. Then, do the same gently to the limbs, especially the ones with blossoms. go up and down the main stem gently.

    You dissolve an aspirin in about a gallon of water and occasionally use it to water the tomato. I think he said every two weeks.

    When any little seedling is about two or three inches, start brushing the tops gently to simulate the wind. It makes the seedlings strong/sturdy and they grow into strong plants once they are out in the real wind.

    Sturdy plants are necessary for the weather and to hold the plant upright as it gets heavy and grows fruit. You can also use a fan that oscillates so you don't have to brush the seedlings.

    I do put all sorts of compost in the hole with tomatoes. It seems to work well. I think roses like bananas around their bases, too.

  6. Linda - thanks for the explanation! and yes - keep the birth control info to dazzle all comers with your incredible knowledge - bahahahahah! but if anyone you know, like a guy friend or exbf shows up with a hangover - give them a birth control pill and you will both be so amazed at the quick recovery!

    i didn't know the roses/banana thing but i will definitely give it a try.

    as for your new post about powdered milk - whenever we have milk, cream, sour cream, yoghurt go bad, jambaloney puts the bad dairy all around our 4 apple trees - they love it!!!

    your friend,
    (p.s. - go and check my comment back to your comment on our blog. i needs me a fine southern chandelier for the greenhouse - teehee!)

  7. It has been thirty years since I had any sort of relationship with anyone that showed up with a hangover. UGH! Present exbf drinks a beer about twice a year.

    When you have chickens, they love any type of dairy products.


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