*A friend was telling me of a hotline for turkey preparation. The caller was worried. He had cooked the turkey breast down instead of breast up, as is the custom, not the rule. His question:
"Is that dangerous?"
*The first time I cooked Thanksgiving Dinner on my own, I had a four-month-old infant and a toddler who was two-and-a-half years old and a big child that my mother-in-law did not finishing rearing. Plus, I was recovering from a serious illness after the birth.
My life was one of chaos since the big child did not think he should have to have any responsibility for kids or house because I had the kids and they were mine. So was the housework, according to him. So, Thanksgiving in a new home, with new baby, and newly jealous toddler and the big child was horrid for me.
I did not get the turkey thawed before the day and even though I got up at 5 am, tried to thaw it more by running cold water through it as I tried to wrench the bag of giblets from the cavity that was frozen solid.
Finally, out of desperation and exhaustion, despite the constant recriminations from the big child, I stuck the frozen-cavity turkey and giblets into the oven. After five hours of thawing efforts interspersed with child care and constant criticism, I just did not care. Big child followed me around demanding his noon feeding of turkey.
He did not get it. By the way, it does not hurt anything to cook the bag of giblets in with the turkey. No one died although the big child was treading dangerous ground.
*One Thanksgiving Day, my best friend called saying their oven just broke and she had the turkey ready to go in for their dinner. By this time, I was having the turkey late in the day instead at noon. So, my turkey was ready for the oven, too.
My best friend's husband was an elder in the church where my husband was minister. I reminded her she had keys to the church, just to send her husband with the turkey and have him turn on the oven and put it in.
She hoped the church would not mind. This woman worried about the silliest things.
She decided they would not, surely, mind that the family had a turkey for dinner that day. My friend and her family thanked me profusely for thinking of the church oven.
*One Thanksgiving, this same friend was preparing the turkey while her three girls were in the kitchen watching and helping with Thanksgiving dinner. The girls were gathered around as she was removing the giblets from the cavity and she was explaining what she was doing.
As she removed the neck, she held it up with a flourish, and proclaimed, "IT'S A BOY." You can imagine the giggling!
So, tell me your amusing/horrifying turkey stories. I know you have them.