New Tactic Against Raccoons

I cannot afford the cost of raccoon exterminators.  Between being broke and being parsimonious anyway, I struggle to deal with raccoon pests. If I poison the raccoon, it might die over my head since this is his preferred dwelling place. Getting rid of it would involve tearing out a ceiling. It's complicated to explain. Just imagine a 110-year-old house with many additions or attempts to modernize and the ensuing restorations.

Raccoons do not like noise or light, so that should be a good defense. However, these raccoons will sit in the light of a porch and eat right with the cats and not mind the homeowner peering out. In other words, they have been habituated to light and noise and people who supply food. My house is no threat. Besides, this is the warmest room in the house and the ceiling is low and thin. It is perfect for a litter of kits or whatever they are called.

There has been a raccoon shuffling around over my head for the last few weeks. It is a female getting ready to give birth or one who is making a nest for when she gets pregnant. I sit here, talking on the phone, watching TV, and walking around. Nothing seems to deter the shuffling menace. Usually, tapping my fingers on the wall like something walking or running gives me a moment of peace. Soon, the noise continues.

The other night, I threw a bottle of expired aspirin at the ceiling across the room. It stopped moving around for a few minutes. You know, I cannot just keep throwing things at the ceiling.

Then, I had a brilliant idea! I growled and growled, sort of a low hissing growl. Every time I heard it, I growled and growled. Growling makes me choke and cough. Maybe the raccoon will not catch on. I have done this for three or four nights and it appears I am raccoon free for the moment. My throat hurts.

I have used all sorts of growls. Some are a hiss-type growl. Others are throaty and deep and long. I could get a lion roar to play as exbf suggested as he laughed. I think he was serious. I am not eccentric as some say. Why would they say that?

So, growl at your raccoon pest. My interloper won't get in the cage for foil and strawberries. This is the longest I have ever taken to catch a raccoon. I keep up hope. It's a good thing I do not own a gun. I would have blasted this ceiling to smithereens.

I found a penny on the ground.

Your turn
Have you ever growled at a raccoon? Okay, do you think I have lost my mind?