So Mad I Could Spit

Bluest sky I have ever seen at 8 am
Remember this when I am castigated for my "attitude."
I am looking as straight up as I can without falling over.
No clouds.
I could see about 80% of the horizon, but it was murky at the horizon.

I had my hair cut on October 4. I go in for a dry cut always. She told me all about how she was not just about cutting hair: customer service was her goal. Right, okay, whatever. She did not cut my bangs the right length--about 3/4 in beyond my eyebrows is about an inch too long. She did not cut it curving up between my eyebrows. However, I asked for it to be cut more and she did, adding a little teasing to my bangs, making it look perfect. I do not have the time or motivation to tease my bangs!

She talked nonstop, which was okay. She was very friendly, sweet girl, trying on the adult world. I was complaining about my straight hair, saying I always wanted curls and had permanents until I had to choose between curls and color. Yes, I chose color.

When she finished up, I thought, she then pointed the scissors downward and just thinned my hair in front of my ear from top to bottom like a razor cut. I specifically told her I DID NOT want her to do that. She tried to explain how she cut instead of slicing or something. Then, she could not understand that I wanted little layers in that hair because it would naturally curl. Now, I had about 8 inches of stringy hair that just blows in the wind like a guy's bad comb over. (I cut it at home.)

I tried not to show my really bad attitude I was developing. She said brightly, "Do you want me to curl it?" I just sat there, wondering why she was asking when I had said I did not like anyone curling, spraying, or messing with my hair. I said, "Okay." She curled my teased bangs and left them in an unruly heap in the middle of my forehead, nothing over the ends of my brows, just space, like a rasher of bangs plopped down and not even blended with the side of my hair next to my face.

Then, she proceeded to curl it all over and I allowed her to spray it. I left and started pulling the huge curls out of my bangs and spread then across my forehead and pulled them to meet the hair on just beyond the bangs.

I got lots of compliments that night at a dinner. Greeeaaat!

Before I went to bed, most curl had fallen out. That's okay as it beats have product all in my hair. I awake every morning with bed head, hair all over and obscuring my face. That was October  5.

Saturday, I went out minimally doing anything to the still fluffy head of hair. Saturday night, I washed it or maybe Sunday morning.

Then, I went in two times during the following week, trying to get the bangs re cut. One time, she was not there. The next time she was busy. She told me to come in on Saturday, October 13, that she would be there until 4 pm. I went in at three and they said she stayed until 5 minutes before I came. I just missed her, that she stayed so long just for me.

I went back in this last week, October 17. She was trying to figure out when she could take me. I told her Saturday when she was not busy would be fine. She said she stayed until 1:45 and left because I had not come in like I said I would. Wellll, she said she would be there until 4 pm! And, everybody else said she stayed until 5 minutes before I showed up at 3 pm. When I told her that, she looked away like she was looking for an answer in space. I let her off the hook and asked her when to come back.

At any rate, she told me to come back on Saturday, today,  at 1:30. I did that and had to wait 40 minutes for her to get to me. At long last, she came out and my back was killing me from sitting upright! She asked all perky-like, "How are you today?" (got the lilting voice?)

As I struggled to get to my feet, I said, "Fine" in an unconvincing tone. Then, she spread her arms to the sky and flung her hands out and said, "It's a glorious day. You should really be enjoying this. It is beautiful."  Well, you did not ask me about the day. You asked me about how I was doing. No, I did not say it, but the urge to kill must have shown on my face. She continued to tell me how I should be out walking and enjoying the day. Can I kill her now?

If there is one thing I despise, it is someone who thinks she/he has to be a cheerleader for my emotions when I am in agony. No, a chirpy voice and positive attitude on your part does not make me feel better, especially when a 20-yr-old is casting judgment on me. Can I kill her now?

So, she cut my bangs all wrong--straight across instead of following the line of my brow and leaving the part at the outer end of my brow longer. I pointed out that she cut it wrong. She grabbed a magazine and tried to show me how the woman had bangs just like she cut. I told her I know how I want my bangs and just don't show me someone else's hair. Cut mine like it was when I came in, just shorter. She argued with her big, beautiful smile while customers watched. Please, let me kill her now!

"Look, you left one side tapered and cut the other side straight across like I am four-years-old." She offered to fix it! HA!

Her response, "At least hair grows" all the while making little happy claps and sort of dancing around smiling her beautiful smile that I really wanted to wipe from her face. Can I kill her now???

I struggled to get out of the chair with her still being the cheerleader AND coach now, encouraging me and trying to tell me how to stand up. Please, pleeease, let me kill her now!

She went to the front with me and I headed to the door. She said, "Ugh, that will be $10?"

"To cut bangs that were not right when I left last cut?"

"Well, you should have said so then!"

"You teased my bangs and curled them. It was only when I washed my hair that I realized how long they were. And, I did come back in within 3 or 4 business days." She continued to argue as I silently pulled out my checkbook. Then, seeing the grim look on my face, she stood up and put her hands at arms length, palms facing me. "No, No, that's okay, just forget it. The customer is always right. The customer is always right."

"So, what you are saying tells me you are just going to give me my way even though I am wrong, just to shut me up, and that you don't really think I am right. You are just going to give in and be the bigger person? No, I will pay you!" I despise condescension.

I hobbled out with a white rage inside me. kill kill kill

I know how I will get even. I will not tip her the next two times! I will go in with a wallet with only a $1 and change. (I always write a check for my haircuts, well, most always.) I will very sincerely apologize. Two haircuts ought to make us even, two times without a tip! Okay, I will lay down $1 and less than 10 cents in change.

Thank you for listening!

Your turn
Can I kill her now?