We met on the internet in 2004 and emailed and talked for about a year. At his first contact, I told him I was dating someone. He said friends were a good thing. So, we emailed for a long time. It was all platonic. He never crossed those boundaries.
When the other guy dumped me, it was a relief...lol. I invited T up to visit me. I cooked dinner for him because he was always telling me by email how good what I was cooking sounded. After that he kept my yard immaculate and I cooked dinner for him and sent home leftovers. Almost two years later, he told me he did not want to be my bf anymore.
My 45th class reunion was coming up (2009), and I told him I wanted him to go with me. He refused for several weeks. He went to one of his reunions and it was the worst thing that ever happened to him. I xplained he would not be "on" and would have nothing to prove. He didn't even have to talk. I told him that people do things they don't want to do for someone they love. The next week is when he broke up with me. I cried because we had not argued in months.
He said he would help me as long as I needed him because he knew I needed help. Just last year, 2014, was five years since the breakup. I asked him if he thought he would be helping me for so long. He sort of laughed and said he never thought it would be so long.
Two years ago, I told him not to mow my yard again because of his hip and how he had to struggle. He does less and less as time goes on.
He is 62 and has never been married. He thinks an argument is the end of the world. He does not take conflict well. But, when I am right, I state so. For instance, I needed coolant in my car. He was putting in water. I was stomping around telling not to do so. He said, "It is summer so you don't need antifreeze now." Then, when I quit arguing so I would not kill him, he followed me around telling me how I was wrong! He would not let up. So, I yelled at him. I managed to put a bit of antifreeze in the car. Well, the next day I took it to a radiator shop, and a guy there helped me by putting some in. Maybe he drained some out.
Your turn
Does this clear it up? Any other questions?
I remember the antifreeze incident. 62 is too young to be in so much pain.
ReplyDeleteHe needs two hip replacements and two knee replacements, so I suppose age does not matter. He uses a cane and a stick to walk. I am not sure how he works, standing all day.
DeleteI think he still cares for you ! no man would do the things he does if there wasn't 'something' there.
ReplyDeleteYou two get on better than most married people I know, I lived with a totally lazy ***** who wouldn't do a thing for me !
You are lucky to have someone to call on when you need jobs done with all your health problems - good for you.
Wean,
DeleteHe just comes once a week, but that is a big help. I now have to pay someone to mow. Exbf has a neighbor who started mowing his yard about a year ago after he saw how he was struggling to even walk.
Yes, we do get along better than many married people. I will admit when I am wrong, but he just argues more. Drives me crazy. But, he is a good person.
Well it sounds like the relationship works in some ways, whatever you both call it. I've been with my partner for nearly 28 years. Often I wonder how we've stayed together for so long!
ReplyDeleteLL Cool Joe,
DeleteHe thinks marriage should have no conflict. I am sure that you had conflict in your 28 years. We do have a rather peaceful relationship except when he swears I did not tell him something when I know I did. Or, when he does something that is potentially destructive. Thanks.
I'm just glad you have him in your life.. even if he is wrong sometimes ;-)
ReplyDeletetlc,
DeleteThanks, me too! When I am wrong, I admit it. He refuses to even believe me when he is wrong. It just makes him angry that he is not infallible.
Learning to communicate is a difficult thing.
ReplyDeleteSonya Ann,
DeleteYou hit the nail on the head! He has none of those skills! Of course, you know I am perfect along those lines. just kidding
Lol Sonya Ann, communication is not hard...effective communication is the difficult thing. The other day TheHub and I were snipping at each other, turns out we were both saying the same thing. (But one of us was saying it completely bassackwards)
ReplyDeleteAnne,
DeleteHe will argue with me and say the same thing I am saying, just in different terms. I don't think he listens.
Tell him if he won't service your vehicle, you won't service *his* vehicle. Then walk away and leave him wondering what you meant by that.
ReplyDelete444,
DeleteLOLOL...I try to be more subtle! Good comeback. Thanks.
Well, I hate to say it but in 27 years of marriage, my husband and I have never had a fight. It helps that we are both considerate of each other so it seems there is no reason to. We are probably odd... The arrangement you have makes a lot more sense than being a couple at odds with each other.
ReplyDeleteAlex,
DeleteHe is only here about 8 hours when he comes up. But, sometimes we clash half a dozen times.
Alex,
DeleteThat is great you two do not argue.