I am sick and tired of being fat. My friend, Mark, was just someone I passed as we exchanged brief pleasantries. We have become better friends. Now, we are going to embark on a weight-loss venture. My fat is not attractive to me. Yours may be attractive to you. I am sure my fat makes my back and knee hurt worse. My fat makes my left shoulder hurt when I try to lift my weight from my chair.
In 2002, I injured the middle of my back, sort of along the bra line, while working a retail Christmas job. In 2003 as I entered the physical therapy room, the room was changed. As I walked to my physical therapist, sitting up at a counter on the other side of the room, my right foot caught on an electrical cord plugged into the floor. I fell headlong, landing on my right knee. I cried and wailed lots as the physical therapist assured me that I was okay and to just get up. I was so distressed that I injured myself in a place where I was supposed to be safe and get better.
As I fell, my left knee was behind me, and I sat on the right foot, right on the heel. As I hurled towards the floor in this position, my body fell the the left, injuring my left shoulder. I told the physical therapist all the places I hurt and she said I had to pick which hurt the most. I said my knee hurt most.
Unbeknownst to me, that was all the Workman's comp would pay for because she included none of the rest and lied, saying I never mentioned sitting on my foot, my foot hurting, my shin hurting, or shoulder pain. I managed to gain 60 lbs in about three months. I sat and ate when I was not scheduled for work. Horrified at the weight gain, I immediately lost 10 lbs.
The physical therapist who took over and worked on my knee faxed the insurance office after each therapy session, reporting that I was malingering. So, weeks dragged into months and finally I was allowed to have an MRI of the knee. Less than a week later, the torn meniscus in the right knee was repaired. It hurt for a long time and finally quit. But, I never lost weight. That injury had a profound psychological effect on me. Not being treated and not being treated fairly hurt me in places that aren't physical.
I have never regained the svelte self. In 2009, I lost 25 lbs and due to a stressful job I had, gained back 25. In the aftermath of the April tornado, I gained another 10 lbs.
Last year, I joined TOPS. But, I was met with ridicule for not being able to climb a steep flight of stairs "just once." Okay, I can do anything once, then I can sit and live in pain for a week. Then, it would be time to go back and climb the stairs again.
XXXXXXX was horrid to me while others could do anything they pleased. Then, I realized that her husband was the man coming on to me thirty years ago, telling me his wife had run off, leaving him with two little boys. Needless to say, her animosity and outright bullying at TOPS caused me stress. I gained weight in TOPS, even though I was successful when I belonged long ago. Back then, 20 lbs over my desired weight was catastrophic enough to make me join TOPS.
Last night, I asked Mark if he wanted to join me in losing weight. He readily agreed. So, we will commence a journey toward a new, thinner, healthier life. There will be some sort of set prize the loser must give up to the winner. We decided that losing 25 lbs was a good first goal. Then, I gave him two packages of bagels.
Since I might wobble and fall off the scales, I have just not weighed in probably over five months....maybe more. Tonight, I was shocked to see I had lost 10 lbs without trying! Considering I have an under active thyroid and started taking the maximum dose of levothyroxin, I should have expected a loss of weight. I am going to the doctor's office to weigh on Monday, just to be sure I did lost weight. I was weighed there last September or August.
The only thing I have done over the last month was quit buying Kraft 8 oz blocks of medium cheddar cheese. A few weeks ago, I quit drinking chocolate milk, but only because I ran out of Nestle's Quik. I am terrified of diabetes, so I am slowly reforming my bad, bad ways. I didn't buy more Quik only because I did not have the money to do so!
Details on another post to follow later. I will tell you how I plan to lose weight. I really don't need/want suggestions, just cheerleaders. I know how to attain the weight-loss goal. This won't turn into a weight-loss blog. But, I will keep you posted on the weight loss. And, I will eat heartily through the holidays!
Goal: lose 110 lbs. Now, people to whom I tell this goal assure me I will look ill and that is too much to lose. They really get upset with me. When I tell them what I weigh and what I want to weigh, they seem to think that 110 lbs is a good goal. I am not even trying to get back to my thinnest. I am giving myself a 20 lb leeway over what my ideal weight for my height should be.
The photo? It was taken in 2002, just before I was injured. I was looking into the mantle mirror and had taken a full-length picture from the back. Someone cropped the picture and this is my reflection. I guess that is my face flipped over. There is a framed picture in front of my chin. Don't ask me why the picture is so grainy. The camera loved me that day, plus, I had a little too much wine. Two glasses is too much for me.
Have you ever gained weight from an injury and found the new-found weight extremely difficult to lose? Or, have you known anyone who faced my dilemma?